Scarborough 2010

As you know every summer us Savage's take a trip to Scarborough.. we've done it 3 years running now, I'm not quite sure why..

We never intended to be one of those families that takes the same holiday ever year to the same place on the same dates etc and in fact we varied it up a little this time by going at a different time AND staying in a different place too...mmhmm, I like to live dangerously, shocking isnt it? lol

Anyway, at the caravan park at the Blue Dolphin (which we LOVE btw) we have a regular van with a little bit of a grassy area that the kids play in but this year we'd left it too late because we were originally going to Scotland.. but of course all that changed when I decided to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of my driving thing..lol

SO Scarborough it was again.. we decided to rent a flat in the centre of town on the Esplanade.. beautiful views, beach at the bottom of the hill.. even a cliff lift to get up and down and 2 weeks for less than half the price that we'd pay at the Haven resort. Winner!!

It was a winner too.. we had a great time. The first week my Mum and John came with us and we mercilessly made my Mother miserable by making her experience all things chav... here.. have a look.


Mum on a bus!


In a pound shop!!!

Poor Mum.. but she got her own back when it started to rain one day and out of her bag she pulled a plastic rain hood and put it on!!! I must stress (or otherwise she might actually kill me and bury me in the garden) that she did it for a joke and she DOES NOT normally wear one of the "old lady hats"... I can also tell you though that she was that impressed with how it kept the water off her hair that she kept it on until she got home.. yes she walked through town with it on.. gonna have to call her "Mabel" in future for sure..lol


"Mabel".

Other things that happened.. some great comments..

there was the day we were on the beach making sandcastles and Rich told the kids to "Watch where you're throwing all that snow..." er... snow? I think you'll find thats wrong dear..

and there was the moment when Heather watched a lady being pushed by her husband in a wheelchair and asked my Mother "Why don't you get one of those pushchairs Nana? Then Grandad John can push you around all day and you'd never have to walk again!!"

Angelina: "Oh No.. the Bog Horn is ringing!!"

mm.. Richard had a few "moments"..

yes. there was the "paper bag incident".. which was most amusing to Mum and I..

We were at the Filey Bird Garden and Petting Zoo for the day, its a great day out and the kids love it.. regular readers will remember last year when Princess Heather fed the pig that snotted on her, she was less than amused. Well they had so much fun last time that they wanted to return and so we did, we bought animal feed in little paper bags and everything was great until one of the kids dropped an empty bag and the breeze took it away..

"Rich!! get that bag will you??" I say and he bends down to reach the bag at his feet.. and the wind blew it.. he shuffled a few steps forward and bent to grab it and the wind took it again.. Rich shuffles forward, stooping like an old man trying to get the bag and the wind keeps taking it and he shuffles some more.. well by the time he got it the rest of us were on the floor in stitches and floods of tears giggling at the muppet chasing the bag.. heheh was brilliant, classic Rich at his spasmodic best.

Then there was the football incident.. I've swear I have never seen anything as funny in my whole life.
There we were, minding our own business just walking on the beach one day and up ahead there was an old guy kicking a ball around with his grandson, just a light football.. not a big heavy leather one but not as light as a beach ball..
We're walking towards them and he looked directly at Rich (- so it was even as if he hadn't seen him) and he kicked the ball.. whether he expected Rich to move or the ball to curve around him or what I dunno.. but it didn't..noooo it hit him full on in the face and even bounced off his head with a really loud "boing" sound to it.

Y'know sometimes when something so shocking happens and you just don't know how to react?? In that moment you don't really know what happened or why it did and you're left open mouthed looking a little like this guy??



Hmm Rich had that look about him too.. he stood, totally shocked and his mouth open as the old guy (who look a teeny bit worried..)picked up the ball and said "oops. sorry mate" and buggers off!!

So I'm trying really REALLY hard not to laugh and say "are u ok?" and Jake just starts with this big belly laugh..and that was it.. Jake was giggling, I was laughing so much I was crying.. I had to run to the public bathroom cos I thought I was gonna pee myself, the girls were laughing and Rich is telling me to "shut the f*ck up biatch".

The best part was I had said to him that very morning how disappointed I was that he hadn't done anything stupid over the last few days.. infact, since the paperbag incident the week before, no sea gulls had crapped on him or anything and then that happened.. and I didn't stop laughing for days, and every time someone mentioned it I was crying again.. my mum phoned that evening (cos she only stayed the first week) and I couldn't speak to tell her the tale for laughing so much.

It was brilliant! A total comedic highlight and I doubt any of us will forget it in a hurry..

So.. what else? Well.. there was the Sea Life Centre, the beach, the swimming pool at Filey, the lighthouse, the grave of Anne Bronte, the sandcastles...

Toy Story 3 at the cinema... (completely hilarious and not at all spoiled by a certain loud voiced "Angelic" child of mine shouting "Daddy!!! Gimme those fruit pastels!!!" honest!! lol),

there was the day we found "Sebastian" the Hermit Crab in the rock pools, the fun fair, the boat trip..

the ball pool..






the mad rooster



Angelina on the "medieval naughty step" ("Don't you dare think lady, that just because we're in the middle of medieval ruins on top of a big hill in Scarborough that I can't find a bloody step to sit your butt on Madam...now park it!!") and the random bloke laughing as she gave me her best sulky face


Shocker isn't it?? LOL

Heather licking the bus shelter window... why?!?!?



walking the pretend pets in the park..



Jake meeting the donkey also called Jake..



then this..



and this..



and this..




I think those smiles say it all really...

here, have a slideshow..

Bring on next year!!!!!!!

Wtf happened to the summer??

Well it's officially over and about bloody time too!!!

It's not right y'know, 6 weeks off school in the summer is a parents worst nightmare. After school finished on July 23rd I, like most other Mother's I know, spent the next 3 days in a total state of shock and panic that not only did I have to spend the next 6 weeks at home, alone with my 3 children but I also had to spend an extra 3 days at home with them too because school doesn't start on Monday 6th September like it should but on Wednesday 9th.

WHY?!?!?!?!

Well... apparently 6 weeks is not enough time for the teachers of my children's school to recover from the last year.. apparently they need "training" too.. I am slightly disturbed by this.

I am also slightly disturbed that they've decided to add the much needed "teacher training days" to the end of the holidays so as not to "disrupt the children's learning" by doing it at some other point in the year.

But what disturbs me about this most is that this "teacher training" will only take 2 days.

o_O

2? is that it? obviously becoming a teacher is easier than I thought.. I should probably look into this again..lol

I am of course just kidding.. being a teacher is incredibly difficult and training takes far longer.. blah blah blah... but really.. they've just had 6 weeks off work.. why do they need to take another 2 days to brush up on their skills? Surely they should be doing that when they've got their 6 weeks off? Well no apparently.. cos thats when they get to plan lessons and do marking and stuff.. all from the comforts of their own home.. whilst they're being paid.. unlike the TA's that help (notice I said "help" as opposed to "do all the real hard work" which is what really goes on...)

Anyhoo.. It's the beginning of summer, the sun is shining (almost) and we don't have to get out of bed and do anything and having got over the initial sinking feeling of "OMG what the hell am I going to do with them for 6 1/2 weeks!!" I remembered that we were taking our trip to Scarborough this school break, brilliant!! The kids will have something to do and I can relax... in 4 weeks time.

FOUR WEEKS?!?!?! aw sh*t...

So...I spent the first 4 weeks dealing with the "Summer holidays...must not strangle child.. " (apparently its frowned upon these days) madness that all us poor Mum's struggle with every year and I can tell you, it's been no bloody fun!!

But it's over now.. the uniforms are ready.. lunch boxes will be packed this evening and soon it will be bath and bed time.. ahhh.. bliss.


awwwww..I miss them already and they're not even gone yet!!! LOL

I wonder why that happens? You spend all day frazzled to buggery and tearing your hair out as the kids drive you mad and then the day comes for them to go back to school and give you some peace and quiet and you don't want them to leave...

nahhhhh.. I love you all but please.. go back to school already!!! ;)

It's time for lunch!!!

It's lunch time..

We're hungry....

I know!! Let's get the 5 year old to make the sandwiches!!!!

20 minutes later we were still hungry....

Wanna see why???

Well... you know what to do...

hit the button..

Trust me...I'm NOT a Doctor though..

Check me out!!

I did something wonderful this week!!

It's official.. I am now a fully qualified First Aider!!

I am actually going to be useful at work for a change!!!!!! Who'd have thunk'd it??? LOL

I get a certificate and a little plastic card to keep in my purse and I am legally able to administer First Aid to injured persons in the workplace and also to the general public should there be a need (watch out you lot..lol), infact, should I leave the country (on holiday for example) in some countries I am actually legally required to stop and assist in an emergency situation!! Oooh I could feel all important if I thought about it..lol

In all seriousness though this week has been mostly very interesting. It's definitely been incredibly hard work (there's a whole lot of information in this head right now..ha!! Look at me using my brain!!) and if I'm completely honest there were some things about certain areas (mainly heart attacks) that I would have preferred not to have known really..

Whilst I knew that such things weren't very pleasant for the person experiencing it, when thinking of my own father and his death I had tried to block out from my mind exactly how much it would have hurt him, how long it may have taken and how scared he would have been and now... well now I can't and I don't mind admitting that yesterday's lessons on that particular subject were really very hard for me, the instruction videos were very upsetting and last night as I mulled it all over in my head.. well, it was more than a little rough let's say..

As much as it pains me..I can't save my beloved Dad... however, if I ever come across someone with those symptoms I SHOULD know what to do to potentially save that persons life or at least help until paramedics arrive to take over and I think..no.. I KNOW he'd be really really proud of me for that.

and I'm quite proud of me too.. I've worked bloody hard at this and its been an emotional ride and scary too - just to think how much can go wrong sometimes is scary and now the fact that I may have to go out and actually use what I've learned on a real person is quite daunting too.

But I wouldn't hesitate.. and I'd be in there.. yelling "CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!" hahah.. no.. seriously though, they wont let me have a defib machine so yer all safe..LOL

BUT..if your kids go to the same school as mine then rest your worried minds.. cos the 3 of us that took the course passed with flying colours.. and we're ready..

Bring on the grazed knees!!!!!!!!!! whaaaaaat?? we don't want anyone getting hurt y'know ;)

x

To have and to hold...

Till death us do part???

Who's bloody stupid idea was that??

On this day 10 years ago (24th June 2000) I married my rock star hubby.. doo dah.. what's his name? Rich!! thats right.. sorry.. I only ever really call him "Twat"...or "Shit bag" or some other equally scathing but scarily accurately descriptive swear word..LOL.

Yes 10 years.. or 120 months.. or 3652 days ago (shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!! thats a LONG time!!!) I, momentarily blinded by love, rushed in and said "I do".. shortly after I realised I probably should have paused and first asked... "is this one of my better ideas?" or "what's in it for me?".

Ten years of washing Savage socks.. and .. well actually I don't think I need to go any further down the list of "OH MY GOD!! I didn't sign up for this?!?!?" reasons of why I should have backed out that day cos 10 years of washing Savage socks would be enough to turn a lesser woman to divorce...lol.

So what was in it for me?

Well..it wasn't diamonds... which is a bugger really cos I do like a nice diamond...lol

and it wasn't for the money.. cos its only the past couple of years that we've actually had any..lol

it wasn't for the rock and roll lifestyle at all really cos we're not exactly turning down the boys from MTV Cribs yet are we?? lol

So really.. the last 10 years.. in short..

Well to be honest, at times..there've been a few of these...



but there was a whole lot of this..



a lil bit of this too.. ;)



which in turn caused this.. LOL



yep.. that was one of our finest moments..and these too..



(Angelina on the left and Heather on the right.)

So it's not been all bad.. and we're still smiling.. guess I could wash those socks for a wee while longer...

Happy Anniversary Mr S... love u. xx

We're gonna score one more than yooooooooooo!!!!!!!

or maybe not...

The World Cup 2010 is in full swing now and England have played 2 of their 3 group matches...

so far we haven't won either. I am reliably informed by the football lovers in the house that this is NOT good.

It's a shame really cos things started off so well..hahah

Englands first game was Saturday 12th and although we knew the USA were no push over it was widely expected that we'd win..

kids got excited, Rich got excited out came the England shirts and the face paint... it was going great.

Rich decided we'd watch the match in HD so there we are all singing and laughing and happy and a few minutes in the channel cut to a commercial.. oops think I, someone's head'll roll for that one.. fancy cutting to commercial in the middle of the game! What happened if someone had scored?? wait a minute... oh its back on.. why is Steven Gerrard running around with a big grin on his face...wtf is all that cheering...? WHERE DID THE BALL GO?!?!?! Oooh For F*@&'s sake!!!!!!!!!

yeah.. we missed the goal. The air in our house was blue.. and that was from Jake..LOL just kidding ;)

SO needless to say it wasn't a great start to our World Cup. The match finished with 1-1 draw too.. (yes a DRAW, its not a TIE for my US friends..lol)

so whilst we're on the subject of draws and the USA.. the next day this was splashed across the headlines.. you'll have to hit the link cos I can't reprint the pic. lol

"USA wins 1-1"

o_O I think something went wrong somewhere... anyway, fair play to the USA, they've had a couple of good games so far, good luck to them.. but its a draw ffs.. not a tie and you didnt win. lol.

Then we wake up next morning and Rich has a big scab on his nose and some nice blotches on his forehead and cheeks.. he wouldn't let me take pictures but I can tell you I think he has an allergy to face paint.. this does not impress him as he wanted to dress up as Ace Freeley (sp?) later ;) heh. He also had to go play an open air gig with his band infront of lots of people.. poor blotchy faced git. lol.

Moving on... then we come to this weekend and Friday's match with Algeria in which England were abysmal..basically but I felt for the poor lads, it wasnt going their way at all and I knew that they all knew they'd be slated in tomorrow's press and then some.. which has to be horrible really, the British tabloids can be sooooooo bitchy...lol

So just as I'm feeling all soft and sorry for them I also have to cheer up a crushed 8 year old and talk down an irrate 39 yr old..but then..to top it all off as the match finishes our beloved striker Wayne Rooney just can't help gobbing off at camera with this little nugget.



er... excuse me Wayne?

and all of a sudden I have very little sympathy for the man that's paid millions to put a itty bitty ball in the back of a big net... something that has so far escaped him on 2 nights running now despite him supposedly being a footballer of the highest quality.

So... now I feel that maybe Mr Wayne "Paddy Pants" Rooney needs a swift kick up the arse or a hairy hand around his windpipe as someone reminds him of the job at hand here...

So what's gone wrong? Well.. apparently some of the players don't like the way the manager, Fabio Capello who I am told hails originally from Italy, doesn't bond with his players properly.. yes apparently he sometimes walks past them and doesnt talk to them...

all together now... "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww".. pass me the worlds smallest violin pleeeeease.. how ridiculous. The man is Italian and his English isn't very good and quite frankly if faced with a bunch of petuant overpaid morons like the England Squad moaning about how their wives just don't understand the need for them to have a skank mistress over my morning coffee I'm not sure I'd say "hi" very often either.

Next complaint is.. he wont let the WAGs go to South Africa to be with their men.

and rightly bloody so!!!!! They're WORKING!!! I don't get to go and stand in Richard's kitchen all day looking pretty and being distracting do I?? noooooooooo. Do I get my bus fare to Saltaire paid by the British Tax payer to do some shoe shopping whilst he's at work? no.. stupid people... leave the women at home and play football... thats why you're there.

Next.. they have to relax in their hotel rooms for at least 5 hours a day... well bugger me lads life's a bitch isn't it?

Next.. they dont like that Capello doesn't announce his game team until 2 hours before the game.. now I dont see whats so bad about this, in fact I think its a good idea.. it means that everyone is prepared to play.. there is no late change to the team, no last minute panics from the players, they're all fit and wound up to do the job because they have to be as they're told who is playing and then they play.. simple as. Job done.
But they're whining.. cos they don't like it... probably cos they cant go get drunk the night before the match if they don't know whether they're playing or not..hmm.. thats not a bad thing believe me.

Next...they dont like the formation 4-4-2.
Well tough boys, these are management decisions and you're not management. Feel free to air your grievances and say how you think it should be dont (doesn't every other man in the country have something to say about the England managers job?) but at the end of the day you're their to play the game and you're supposed to be top quality professional players - you should be able to play in any formation your manager see's fit. 4-4-2 has seen you ok so far so stop whining, get your boots on and off you go play.

Whats wrong with them?

Well they're spoilt and overpaid and they think that have earned the right to have it their own way.. well no sorry.. but you didn't. Bring home that trophy and then we'll talk about your way..

There are a number of ways to fix this.. performance related pay. I'm not sure if they actually get paid to play for England but I know if they had prp at the clubs then we'd soon see a difference in the game.

I think instead of being torn apart by the press - which he will be if England lose this next match with Slovenia - Capello should be supported in his efforts to bring these petulant 5 yr olds back down to earth and if that means that John Terry doesn't get to play this Wednesday because he's still having a hissy fit and stamping his feet because he lost his position as Captain then tough.. or maybe Rooney should be reminded that no one is indispensible and actually there'll be other world cups and other top strikers that actually score goals...

Personally I'd shuffle the team and make it impossible for them to win and sod them all...teach them a lesson but he won't.. because this is football and the thought that we might actually win is more important.

Well now we HAVE to win the next match tomorrow to go through..but Rooney and the boys aren't happy, the team haven't been named yet and Capello's still giving them nothing, and nor should he imo... unless its a slap.. yeah he can give them one of those each..lol

It'll be a hard job and the nation will sit with our hearts in our mouths at 3pm tomorrow afternoon..but we'll still believe, because we're England.. and thats what we do.



Good luck boys. x

Old...much?

So I had ANOTHER birthday...

I thought they were supposed to stop when a girl hit 29?

I mean really.. what girl needs reminding of her age and the impending doom of all that goes with it??

Wrinkles..grey hair.. sagging..well..everything actually!!!

Who needs it??? Not me.. so why celebrate the ageing process?

err... whilst we're on the subject, I would just like to take this opportunity to inform you all that I do not have a single grey hair (YAY ME!!) and its not because I haven't dyed my hair lately (as some tw*t suggested the other day. lol) because I'm a lazy bitch and I haven't dyed my hair for months ..haha.
Nor do I have wrinkles.. (shut up.. they're laughter lines), everything is hanging south however.. oh pfft.. yours would be too if you'd breast-fed twins!!!

So.. old age. I am officially 'middle-aged' according to my Mother who took great pleasure in sharing this with me, yes she enjoyed this fact very much until I reminded her of what my middle age-dom made her. heh.

35 apparently is half of the average life span, that being 70 yrs of age.. now we all know this is rubbish really because its not an exact science and you never know how long you're gonna get but as approximations go its not bad.. lol if I get to 70 then I've had 13 yrs more than my Dad so I guess I would be winning at that.

Of course if I die on my 70th birthday I'm gonna be pissed off. I read somewhere that Gwyneth Paltrow gave up smoking on the condition that she could start again on her 70th birthday as it wouldn't make much difference to her life span at that point.. and that sounds like a reasonable thing to do to me and if its good enough for Gwyneth.. who am I to argue with a Hollywood legend? So by the time I get my next smoke I will have lived my whole life again... wow.. that's kind of mind-blowing really..lol

So.. In addition to a well-deserved smoke (hey.. if I live the next 35 years with Rich without burying him under the patio it will be way beyond 'well deserved'..) I have what to look forward to over the next 35 years?? Ooooh!!!! let's make a list!!!

• Grey hair.. as you know.. I have none currently, so I have this joy to look forward too.
• false teeth - don't joke about it.. I broke one the other week.. it's just a matter of time now.
• Old lady beard - ew... I will NEVER have one of those.. I'm armed with tweezers scouting for chin pubes as I type!!!
• Tena lady - no.. just no.. if I start to smell like pee then SHOOT ME.. I refuse to be Grandma sitting in the corner smelling of pee..
  
• Purple rinse.. I'm actually secretly looking forward to this one..I'm having purple and Ali's getting blue and we're gonna sit on a bench in the Memorial park in Cleck moaning about "the youth of today!!" - LOVE IT.
• Upon reaching 50 I will have spent approx 5 years of my life "queuing" for various things.. 5 YEARS waiting in a bloody queue!!! To know this will completely piss me off.. avoid me on 3 June 2025 cos I'll be really grumpy that day..lol
• Arthritis, plastic hips & knee joints, pace makers, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, senility, dementia, senility, menopause, senility... lol

The list is endless and I haven't even thought further than 40 yet.. Rich must be shitting himself!!! HAHAHA

ohhhhhh.. why do we bother? See in ye olden years gone by we didn't. Life was short with many people not living past their 30's and its easy to see why now with all the things that are yet to befall me. It's hard to imagine though, I can't begin to think that I've seen it all or done it all at this age (although I've done quite a lot of things.. and not all good too!! lol) I remember many years ago (see? old I am) my Mother telling me that she still felt 17 in her head..
Well I do too but then I open my eyes and look down at where my tits used to be and yeah.. I'm feeling 35 again pretty quick.. I can't imagine how I'll feel when I'm tucking them in to my pants..LOL ew.. sorry.. wrong on soooooooooooooooo many levels.

So.. I decree that from henceforth and doo dah jobby whatsits that birthdays should count backwards from 30 starting now and I shall be 29 again...

hmmm... what was I doing at 29??

oh... I was just about to give birth to twins.. aw crap...lol

I might need to re-think this..

xx