deja vu?

I've got a bit of a "Groundhog Day" thing going on lately and it's driving me nuts. I get up, take the kids to school, come home, attempt to do the chores commonly associated with being a housewife, get completely distracted by something else, go collect the girls from nursery, go home, make and eat lunch (whilst watch GG of course!), again attempt to become vaguely interested in the housework, go collect Jake, come home, make and eat dinner, look around at mess and realise that in fact, I have started many many jobs today but unfortunately have completed none....

*le sigh* I cannot seem to get with it!! I am full of incredibly good intentions... I start.. I just don't get finished!! LOL

I think I have a touch of the winter blues about me too. It's becoming increasingly difficult to get out of bed in the morning as its still dark and me no likeeeeeee :(
Couple that with the fact that Jake has decided he doesn't do mornings either, Angelina cares not that it's not even 6am... it's all the same to her, she's had enough sleep and so its time to get up!! And Heather... my lovely happy child, has the worst cough in the history of all coughing-type things and is keeping me (and herself) awake all night with that and her fidgetting...

So the tiredness is probably adding to the lack of completion of anything... All projects are on hold until the darkness is over... I need better light to see now I'm old!! LOL and to be honest, I just don't feel like it.

On a lighter note tis the weekend to spend quality time with my elder brother and his lovely wife and kids who I haven't seen for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages so that'll be fun. I get to meet my nephew too!! well... not quite... I get to talk to him through Sarah's belly button though!! (and yes, you can pretty much guarantee that is exactly what I'll do...lol) I can't wait for him to be born, its been soooooooo long since we had a baby in the family - even if he isn't here yet.. but even this happy event is tinged with sadness and memories of those that should be here but aren't. A visit from Simon always did bring happiness and excitement but now brings something else with it too... it's a weird feeling thats for sure.

Roll on spring.... the house needs another good clearout and so does my fragile mind...

feeling a bit....dotty?

Heather: "Mummy what's this?"

Me: "It's a puzzle book Darling."

Heather: "Yes Mummy, but what's these dot..dotssssss..ummm... dotseseses, these fingies for?"

Me: "It's a dot-to-dot puzzle Heather, you have to join the dots in number order and it makes a picture, then you can colour it in."

Heather: "Hmmmm." {pauses} "Angie look at this picture... it's all dotty."

Angie: "what do you do?"

Heather: "Mummy says you enjoy the dots n' numbers and then colour it in!!!"

Angie: "Thems very nice dots n' numbers Heather"

Heather: "Hmmmmm"

another little piece of history....

In my short 33 (and a half) years I have seen quite a few marvellous things....

eclipse's of the sun and the moon, comets passing through the night sky, a new century beginning and not only that but a new millennium too!! I've been to a special place in the world where two different seas meet (that was weird), I've dipped my toes in the Atlantic, the Meditteranean, the Aegean, the Ionian, the English Channel AND the pacific ocean/seas. I carried and birthed 3 children, 2 of them together (which is not the easiest thing in the world) and I'm raising them, a job that I'm proud to be doing and I hope am doing it well.

I have friends all over the world, I've been to places that my Grandparent's could never have dreamed of going and all in 33 (and a half!) years and thats probably not even half of things that have happened in my lifetime that I have been either part of or have watched from a distance and I really should make a list, I remember my father telling me how he stayed up all night and watched the luna landings on the tv and its always amazed me how when my Grandfather was born there were no such things as televisions!! Something that is just "there" for us now...

So when the opportunity allows me to witness a piece of history being made I am sooooooo there with tv remote in hand, which brings me to this....



This week the United States had their first black president sworn into office. I can only imagine how it felt to be there but I can tell you that it affected little old me in Bradford 3554 miles away!!!

I don't know what it was, maybe it was his magnificent words, (he is a master of the spoken word after all), maye I was softened by the touching images of his young daughters seemingly so proud and recording the days events on her camera that did it... I used to look at my own father with such adoring eyes too, I knew that feeling of pride swelling inside that little girl and the cheekiness of the younger one that still sees him as just "Daddy" who just so happens to be the President too... oh how I hope she can hold onto that and she doesn't lose him under a pile of work related issues. ok my eyes are filling now just thinking of them, it could well be a factor in what happened in my mind the other day...lol.

I believe him, I believe in him and I want him to succeed. I have no idea why and I will possibly be proved wrong as politician's aren't the most reliable people in the world really are they? But still, I believe in Obama... I feel that he really can make a change and that excites me.

I wish my Dad had been here to see it. Ever the socialist, always believing in democracy and the "right" way to do things and so anti-racism too, I remember talking with him last year about who would win the race between Obama and Hilary Clinton to be the candidate and he said then that he would like to see Obama become the candidate and possibly the president but he wasn't sure it would happen, it seems funny that it infact did happen... and he missed it all! He would have loved to have seen it I know that.

Obama mentioned in his speech that "This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath."

It made me cry. I, like many millions am moved by this man, I'm intrigued as to how he will complete his list of "things to do" but I know he'll do it and I'm looking forward to watching him.

Hercules the....Toyota Land Cruiser?!?!?!

I've seen it all now....

On our way home from Nursery we could hear that old familiar yell of the Rag and Bone man. That noise that you know is "Raaaaaaaaag and Booooooone!!" but never really sounds like that, its more of a mumble like the Newspaper sellers in the centre of Bradford that are supposed to be shouting "Telegraph and Argus!!" but actually sound like they've drunk 17 cans of Special Brew and are just yelling for more beer..lol

So Angelina gets excited and we wait patiently for the horse to come around the corner... and I'm going to take this opportunity to remind you all of what a rag and bone person is...

This is the official line from Wikipedia.

"Rag-and-bone man is a British phrase for a junk dealer. Historically the phrase referred to an individual who would travel the streets of a city with a horsedrawn cart, and would collect old rags, (for converting into fabric and paper), bones for making glue, scrap iron and other items, often trading them for other items of limited value."

and here is a pic of a nice rag and bone man



ok back to the story... Angelina gets excited waiting for Hercules (the horse...Steptoe and Son's Rag and bone horse was called Hercules, its association...lol) and what comes round the corner?? A Toyota Land Cruiser pulling a trailer.

This is a Toyota Land Cruiser.



Hardly a knackered old nag is it?

Angelina is not impressed... "That's rubbish" she says and heads for home frowning all the way with Heather equally unimpressed trailing behind her.

I'm left standing on the street corner looking all "wtf?".

How much 'money' must people be throwing away in their trash if the local junk dealer can afford to trade his horse and cart for a fancy 4x4?

Times have certainly changed...

Its over...

They killed off my favourite tacky American "feel good" programme, The Gilmore Girls.

I am totally gutted!!! LOL

I LOVE GG, as I explained in a previous post here

My love for the programme did not stop them cancelling it though (probably because I didn't watch it at the time I cancelled and besides, they have no idea who lil me is...) and nor will it bring them back either.

So I am totally not happy now...the end of the series, the credits are rolling and the smug lil bastard from E4 is making jokes all over the place but wait!!

What was that? say it again smug lil E4 bastard..I'm not quite sure I heard that correctly...

did you say....oh my God you did!!!

"Thats right girls... E4 are showing the WHOLE lot again from the beginning..."

OH JOY!!!!!

7 seasons of Gilmore Girls (count them S-E-V-E-N...1,2,3,4,5,6,7!!!!) starting again!!!

I just bought the first 3 seasons on DVD because I wondered what I would do when they finished showing them.... ask me if I'm bothered?? NO!!!!!!!! I aint bovvered though!!

mmmmmmmmmmmm Deliriously happy am I....

in fact I may have to do the happy dance...

So that's where I've been, catching up with the Gilmore Girls... what have you been up to for the last week?

A Heather-ism for the day!

fidg·et (fjt)
v. fidg·et·ed, fidg·et·ing, fidg·ets
v.intr.
1. To behave or move nervously or restlessly.
2. To play or fuss; fiddle: He fidgeted with his notes while lecturing.
v.tr.
To cause to behave or move nervously or restlessly.
n.
1. A condition of restlessness as manifested by nervous movements. Often used in the plural with the.
2. One that fidgets.
[From obsolete and dialectal fidge, to move restlessly, perhaps from Middle English fiken, of Scandinavian origin.]


We're in a taxi, Rich in front me and girls in the back, Angelina has ants in her pants or something...her foot is swinging/tapping/wriggling and she's kicking everything insight including the back of the drivers chair.

Me: Angelina keep your feet still.

A: I can't!!

Me: You can...stop kicking the chair he's trying to drive.

A: This car smells Mummy!!!!

Me: (trying hard not to laugh) Shush... and stop wriggling!!!

A: I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T!!!

Heather: (very matter of factly) Mummy, I think she's got my fidget!!! She has taken it from me because I am sitting very still and she isn't. (nodding her head)


Still, Heather managed to have her fidget back at 3am this morning when she wriggled her lil self into my bed and kicked me out of it (literally btw for all those who need amusing) so all is well once more and the fidget is now restored to its rightful owner!! Heather 'Ants in her pants' Savage.

Doctor.....who??

This apparently, is the new Doctor.

His name is Matt Smith.

all together now.... "WHO?" (hahaha)

mmmmm... I've no idea either, you have to feel kind of sorry for the poor little thing though, stepping into David Tennant's shoes is not going to be easy after all. The BBC have made a big song and dance about it too with an article on the news website and advertisements to remind us of the specially dedicated programme stuck right in the middle of the Saturday evening tv schedule about the "eleventh Doctor".

I'm afraid I'm not very excited.. I would like to keep the tenth Doctor thank you very much!!! I would much rather David change his mind and stay forever... now that would be newsworthy!! ;)

*le sigh* it's sooooooooooo unfair :(

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

I hate this fookin blog.

I do. I hate it.

I want to put my slideshow in the sidebar where its supposed to go cos thats where I want it. But I can't cos it won't let me. Cos I don't use picassa and so its not playing.

I don't read HTML... it might as well be written in frigging Swahili for all I know and I can't do it by changing my template to the pre-written ones because that wont play either.

I don't like it anymore.... think I'll go find somewhere else to blog!!!!

meh.... New Year.

I managed to avoid the New Year celebrations in style this year. My sis-in-law Tracey left her kids with her Mum and came to mine with a few bottles. A couple of cocktails later we were singing to "Mamma Mia" and having a well earned rest. It was nice.

I have mixed feelings about the departing of 2008 and I am entering 2009 with a little trepidation... I'm very glad to see the back of the worst year of my life, but I'm also reluctant to do so as it all becomes very clear that 'life' certainly does move on without my Dad and the world has kept turning regardless of whether I wanted it to or not and not only that but I have no idea what lies ahead. I feel a bit like I'm leaving him behind but I don't want to.

Last January 1st I made a post to see in the new year, at the end of the post I made a comment about wwondering what was "coming my way next". There was no way I could have known what the year would bring and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't really have wanted to know (unless there was a way I could have stopped it) so in some ways the comment was pointless and still I wonder what this year will bring... will it be worse than the last or better?

Can it actually get any worse? In January of last year my mother lost her father (my Grandfather) that was bad enough but then in May I lost my own which is a defining moment in a girls life...you sink or swim, cope or drown under the weight of the emotions and the pressure of the immense sadness and I'm still not sure which I'm doing really, you all know how I procrastinate over everything!!

Not long after Rich's step-dad was diagnosed with Cancer and he died too. My children lost 3 family members and almost a 4th when Rich's Dad Keith had what we now know was a stark warning but we thought then was a second heart attack.

So much worry and so many tears, so many more lines on my once young face... My children are too young to learn of death. First experiences of such things belong in the "Mummy the goldfish is dead" category (we had that this year too btw!) and not the "why can't Grandad come back now?" as we've seen all too often since May.

We had to try to do something to give them a nice memory this year and so we packed up and went away to Scarborough, it was wonderful and so we're going again this year but I know that this year will remind of my heart aching as I sat on Scarborough beach watching my own children play where I'd once played building sandcastles at his feet.

So what will this year bring?

Well this is what we know.

There's a baby coming in April and with him comes a new hope, a new start maybe?

There's an anniversary in May. That black day is coming, I can feel it already and we're not even 12 hours into the new year yet.

Another holiday where I can relax and enjoy my children without a care in the world (hopefully) and after that? who knows.... I'm not a religious person by any means but please God... don't let it get any worse.

xx