2009..another year of blogging...

Well it was better than 2008 but lets face it.. anything would have been better than 2008 really wouldn't it?

So quick run down and a few pics maybe of the year..Oooh fun!!

January.

January, if I remember correctly... was cold. Meh nothin 'New' about that.. it's always cold.. and boring... I can't even remember what happened in January.. Oh wait!! Yep, they announced that my beloved David Tennant would be killed off (ok ok regenerated...a mere technicality) into this lil dude..


who is not nearly as gorgeous as mah Dave and I'm just not happy about it in the slightest..

So.. that was January and it SUCKED.

February.

In February we all got the lurgy, tangled with this bunch of cowboys over a sofa, but still founds reasons to be cheerful with this lil one... *le sigh*

March.

Let's not eh?

April.

April brought the most beautiful boy... who provides such joy and incredibly lovely pictures that I wish I could share with you but can't for I have not discussed with his lovely Ma and Pa. Needless to say he is as cute as a button and has cheeks you want to squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!! love him love him love him love him .. i do i do i do i do i dooo ooooo!! LOL

Yes Albie Callan Peter Smith arrived on 11th April and brought with him some much needed joy and at a perfect time too.. just as we were gearing up for that first anniversary of grief and I think he eased the pain slightly for all of us. I know Dad would have been proud and would have adored him as much as he adored all his other grandchildren.. he would of course never have allowed Simon and Sarah to forget however that he was born across the border and down there with the 'southern softies' no less.. still it could have been worse.. he could have been born on the wrong side of the pennines.. (shhhh.. mustn't say the "L" word!!).. so yes. April was a very good month... long may that continue.

May.

May brings birthdays and busy times and blackness these days... I wont pretend it's fun. May used to bring Bankruptcy (almost.. lol) as virtually the whole family has a birthday or at least one member or more of each little family gets a year older in those 4 weeks.. (I think there's something like 13 birthdays.. its ridiculous!!) but now all any of us seem to think about is he who is not here.

May brought the anniversary and a trip up to the 'Top of the world' as we affectionately call it, it's more commonly known as Holme Moss in Huddersfield and its where we scattered Dad.

May is a tough one thats for sure... doesn't look like it'll get much easier in future either...

In other May news I went back to school and had a tangle with a white van driver... yeah May sucked too.. bring on June!!!!!!

June.

I got older.. again!!

June SUCKED!!! NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(* edit.. on a positive note to June I completed 12 months smoke free..yeah I can't believe it either!!)

July.

Aahhhhh lovely July...

Scarborough.. 'nuff said.

August.

August was BUSY!!!

There was a visit from the tooth fairy for this mucky lil pup..
Look at the colour of him!!

Then someone (namely me..) had the bright idea that it might be fun to try trace the family tree.. with a maiden name of Smith it's not easy but we're getting there.. albeit slowly.. very slowly!! LOL

The boy finally got off his butt and learned to ride the bike.. which took approx 3 seconds to do and he hasnt touched it since either btw..lol

More cute babies (so glad they're not mine..lol) in the shape of Harry born to my old sis-in-law Vicki and her husband Scott.

Kids hid the phone for 4 days so no one could call us, then they broke the living room door.. trapping us upstairs and running round the side of the house in our pj's to get back in... fun.

Rich had the last birthday in his 30's... cant wait until August!!

September.

September was all about "Big School", yes my babies started school and how cute do they all look in their uniforms?



Another baby came, another boy too!!! My bezzie mate Donna's daughter Cate brought little Riley into the world on my Dad's birthday no less.. obviously a star in the making and a cutie he is too.. bless him.

There was another birthday this month.. my girls turned 5. Seems like yesterday since i was buried under a pile of nappies and baby stuff but in a blink they're little supermodels in waiting..lol



October.

It's still birthday season in October at our house and this time it's Jake's turn.. this year he was 8 which is perfectly old enough now.. can we go back a few years and stop being such a tweenager now please?



November.

The end of October brought much happiness and joy but in a split second it turned to November and another month tinged with sadness as we tried to deal with another tragedy and comfort our loved ones that suffered so much pain as Jess and Luke lost their much wanted baby daughter Bella less than a day after her birth. I know only too well how unfair life is and how harsh it can be. They have been truly dignified and united in their grief and are still holding each other close, we're incredibly proud of them and their strength is humbling to us all. I truly hope 2010 is kinder to them... no doubt we will never forget but nor would we want to. God bless precious girl xx.


December.

Well... if you want a quick over view December brought presents... a 'fluffed' driving test (bring on January!!), an arc-angel Gabriel in the shape of Heather and lots of excited children.. it also brought turkey and ham and chocolate and a dose of the flu (swine maybe? not sure) for Grandad and Daddy.. you'll be pleased to know I'm fine..lol yeah I prolly just jinxed myself huh?

and this takes us up to now.. so thats it...2009 all done and reet quick too!!! In case I missed anything you can always read back by hitting the month tags down the right side of the main page, feel free.

I'm leaving you with this...



Happy New Year. May 2010 bring only happiness and joy please... we've had enough sadness and tears now ok?

Seriously though.. I dunno what's coming our way but it better be good..lol xx

I don't want to be in a pie.. I don't even like gravy!!!!

Can you guess what Heather's new favourite film is?

Chicken Run... gotta love it. ;)

Here's her fave bit. enjoy.

Pretty Princesses and pink glasses.

My little miss got some glasses.. and after a trip to the hospital optician who stuck her some eye drops in to dilate her pupils we discovered she's a little long sighted.

But my little Princess was sooooooooooooo good promised her, her pick of any glasses she wanted..... those eye drops hurt y'know.. and she didn't even flinch.

So prescription in we headed off to Specsavers and in she marched up to the counter where she told the lady her name and that she needed glasses and she'd like pink ones please.

Well pink ones she has... doesn't she look stunning? She chose them all by her little self..

They were so impressed with her that they even got her a pink case to keep them in!!

Of course Angelina's pissed... she wants glasses too.

White Christmas...

Santa came to our house and no one elses this year... well he broke his back carrying all this guff for my lot you see...

sorry 'bout that boys n girls..


I panic bought okay? I do it ever year.. I start out with great intentions.. and I shop early, in fact I start usually in the January sales and in preparation of their (and others) birthdays... only by the time it gets to their birthdays in September and October I've bought way too much and so I pick out some bits and put the rest away until Xmas.. then I forget about the stuff I've put away for Xmas and buy Xmas presents.. then I remember I have a load stashed and get those out too.. then I chastise myself for buying too much and hide the stuff all over the house (and at my Mum's) and forget about it for a little longer and THEN I last minute panic buy cos I haven't bought any presents lately and it'll soon be Xmas and OMG!!! we end up with what you see here.

LOL.. yes I'm shit, I know this... but at least I do not try to hide this fact and in my defence I usually spend about the same amount every year and though it looks like theres a huge amount there, there isnt, it's just stacked to look that way..hehe i'm not fooling anyone am I?

so.. we had smiles...



we had silliness



we had Xmas dresses..


we had a Jedi death match!!!



we had a bunch of greedy little buggers all addicted to xmas pud. how rude...



We had a great time...and now we have a wendy house too... I'll bloody kill my mother for this one..



Merry Xmas. xx

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snoooooooooow!!!

and snow it did.. lots of it. the kids had a blast on Christmas Eve with this lot.. They were throwing it at Grandad John and bulding snow men... Heather particularly likes to eat it.. y'know normal kids stuff.. no yellow bits though ;)

snowman's a bit scary...lol



but this makes me smile...



read on for the Xmas pics!! xx

Oh..... icicles!!!!

It's been a Christmassy weekend at Chez Savage this week..

The gifts are bought (not wrapped yet but hey... I can't be perfect ALL the time..), the Xmas movie DVD's are out of the back of the cupboard (or bought off Amazon for the bargain price of £2 EACH!!), I even thought about making mince pies but nah... can't be arsed yet..

Yes, it's definitely Xmas, I even have Phil Spector's Xmas Album at the ready as all good children of parents with musical taste should have - can't have Xmas without Darlene Love yelling "Baby please come hoooooooooooooooooooooooome!!!!" at me or the kids giggling at how someone say me snogging Santa Claus under the mistletoe last night... wonder if Tennant will dress up as Santa for me ;) lol..

Ok.. I gave in and put the tree up this weekend. I usually put the lights on and let the kids have at it and then strip it when they've gone to bed and "fix" it... but they didnt do such a bad job this year.. of course I had to clear my little table and put everything on it away somewhere and now I cant find the camera so I cant show you and will probably spend the next 2 weeks looking for it in a panic cos its Xmas and I need to take photos!!! lol

Anyway.. the decorations go on and the kids stand back to admire their handywork and Angelina says....

"I really love those testicles hanging on the tree Mummy.."

Well the coffee shot out of Richard's nose as he started choking and I almost peed myself!!!

Of course she means the "icicles" that we have hanging on the tree and I had to somehow explain the difference between the two without actually explaining...

Let's hope she doesn't tell the teacher at school about the 'testicles' hanging on the tree... hehe

On a much more complicated note, Heather wants a Donkey for Xmas. Yes.. a Donkey... a real one that she's going to feed carrots to and keep in the garden and call 'Mary' and she knows she's going to get one... because she asked Santa for one.

How the hell am I gonna get out of this one?

Hell froze over...

Now.. if you've been paying attention you'll remember the story about my beloved buying me a slow cooker for Xmas and if you don't remember or you need refreshing, then a quick lookie here and all will be revealed...lol)

YES it's taken me 2 (yes TWO) years to use it but Hell froze over and I finally pulled it out of the cupboard this morning.

Being a 'working' Mum, actually.. is it classed as working if you don't get paid?? anyway, I'm assisting classroom-ing-ly (more commonly known as class volunteer or rather "School skivvy" if you like) 3 afternoons a week at the local school.. which is great for my C.V. but doesn't do much for my stress levels OR my bank balance.. it's BLOODY good fun though, kids are completely bonkers so as you can imagine, I fit in perfectly!!!!!! ;)

Right.. I digress, where was I? Oh yes.. slow cooker.. so even though I am now a 'working' classroom assisting/school skivvy/Mum type person I thought I should still try to keep up being the perfect domestic Goddess I have been for the last 8 years... (*le sigh* it SO hard to be me y'know..) and so out came the slow cooker and I opened the fridge door (yes Richard, I found the kitchen!!) and lo and behold!!! Vegetables!!!!!!!!!!

ok.. so..first job of the day... COFFEE. done that. NEXT!!

Bowl of soapy water... Mum always said "Wash up as you go and then you don't have a pile to do when you're finished.." SEE?!?!?! I DO listen sometimes... and yeah I know you're all fainting from shock and thats just cos my Mum knows about washing up!! I KNOW... who'd have thunked it?? Rich didn't even think she knew where the sink was nevermind what it looked like... HAHA (I'm so getting my a*se kicked for that one.. ****note to Jen's Mum* --> Mum.. don't make me tell them about the hoover.**** there, that should do it...)

ok ok people, pick yourselves up off the floor.. Jennie found the kitchen and is preparing to cook and Susie P. gave advice on doing dishes.. I know it's a lot to take in one day but stick with it... it gets even weirder.

Coffee.. check.
Bowl of soapy water.. check

Next.. peel potatoes.. I know where the peeler is AND I know how to use it... Rich gives me all the best jobs. ;)

k.. I'm ready. Let's do this.

I peel the filthy potatoes (and they were BLACK with mud.. why were they so dirty?? anyone would think they'd been in the ground or something!!!) and put them in the washing up water... and the dirty peeler and my filthy hands in the clean water that I prepared to put said spuds in when they were peeled n clean.

Bugger.

Spuds are now covered in suds.. heh and there's dirty water in my clean pan. Start again. heheh

NEXT!!!!

peeled my finger instead of the carrot and almost hacked off a thumb with a meat cleaver... I'm not sure I'm cut out for this...

Finally veggies are peeled, meat is no longer in big slab but in nice small pieces ready for stewing and I remembered to add seasoning AND water!!!

So... how do I turn it on then?? it's not working.. the light isn't on... panic.

what's that?? mmmmm..plug. wonder where that goes? Bet my Mum'll know... hahahaha..

I'll let you know how it turns out but if you don't hear from me for a few days you'll know it maybe wasn't so good!! LOL

and just for the record.. in the mean time..

That's some serious shopping...

^^^

See that there?




That's MY car parked on my driveway...

How cool is that??


Better pass my bloody test now...lol

xx

Top things to do on a Saturday night...

It has been a MOST eventful week..

Last Saturday (yes I realise that its taken me all this time to update here.. and yes...I apologise!! LOL) Rich and I managed to pack the kids off to Nana for the evening so we could go out... yes I know!! Look at me leaving the house and all that.. amazing!! Wait until u find out where I went...LOL

But first... Rich managed to traumatise Heather by letting her watch "Clash of the Titans" before she went to Nana's. An old family favourite but maybe a little too old for a child with an imagination as hers, Heather found Medusa a lil difficult to deal with and promptly had a bad dream that night before she'd even closed her eyes!!!! Needless to say Nana Sue and Grandad John were not v impressed as this continued throughout the evening and there wasn't much sleep going on at Nana's that night. Not Richard's finest hour, although I'm sure he'd vehemently disagree and reveal that was his plan all along.. ah yes.. my Father would have been particularly impressed I'm sure.. in fact I KNOW he'd have had a chuckle off that one - a few times over LOL. Anyway... punishment is due and he'll have to put his hand in his pocket for a special surprise for darling boy Jake who came to the rescue and shared his sleeping space and cuddled his frightened baby sister until she went to sleep... altogether now...

aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! Bless his special Ben 10 socks!!!! that boy knows how to tug on the old heart strings.. Nana will be impressed forever with that one... thats my boy ;)

So.. whilst all that was happening Rich and I were on t'other side.. (across the Pennines in Manchester for all you non-Yorkshire people..*spits*) having spent an hour on a train and walked the length of the city (I'm not kidding) to the "Academy" and were presently stood outside a cashmachine contemplating if we were in the queue for the venue or if the cash machine was really the slowest cash machine in the world and everyone in Manchester was just wanting to use it or not.. and of course whilst we were contemplating this we began a conversation with 2 guys stood behind us in the queue who were wondering the same thing... guess where they were from?? Go on guess... yeah.. Bradford. Unbelieveable isnt it.. all the way to Manchester to strike up a conversation with 2 blokes from down the road... and they were literally from about 2 minutes down the road from our house too! Sadly we couldnt bag a lift home as they'd come on the train too.. bugger!!!

Anyway.. who were we doing all this for?? well... Sometime in the 90's I saw a video on RawPower/Power Hour or whatever it was called for Alice in Chains.. Man in the Box and I was a lil hooked. Layne Staley was gorgeous what can I say? Then I met Rich who was an AIC fan also and the rest is history... for whatever reason we'd both missed them on the "Dirt" album tour but neither of us were too worried cos they were pretty big and we were sure they'd be back soon.. tragically not.

Layne's 'spiralling' drug addiction meant that AIC rarely performed and when they did it wasnt over here and then in April 2002 Layne died and that was that, we would never see them now..

or would we? Well yes we did.. last Saturday Rich and I finally got our "Evening with Alice in Chains" - Layne Staley being replaced by the fabulous William Duvall.

As such a huge Staley fan I was worried that I might not get past his absence or even that AIC might not live up to the image in my head but I needn't have worried, for infact they were INCREDIBLE. Duvall was amazing and the weird thing was he fits so well that you're enjoying yourself so much you almost forget that Layne isnt there...

Until that is, that they hit you with "Black Gives Way to Blue..". Off the new album and a touching tribute to the man they end it with this picture shown on the big screen behind them..



I'm not sure you can see it properly but its a lovely pic of Layne pre-drugs ravaged and giving the peace sign and I have to admit I teared up at that point, got me a lil bit emotional!!!

So at that point I very much missed his presence and it is very affecting but the mood is lifted by a smashing finish including "What the Hell am I?" followed by "Acid Bubble", "Angry Chair", "Man in the Box", "Would" and "Rooster"

For me it was an unbelieveable night and a very memorable experience which I will hold close for a long time to come and for them? For them it was a warm and excited welcome back to the cold north of England and I for one hope that its not another 15 years until we get to do it again..

quick Heather-ism for the day...

Heather - "Mummy..."

Mummy - "Yes darling"

H- "You know that pudding stuff...."

M - "What pudding stuff would that be Heather?"

H - "In the cupboard.. the delightful stuff"

M - (opening cupboard) "This stuff?" (waves packet of Angel Delight at Heather)

H - "hmmmmm..yes." - child looks decidedly shifty and is obviously thinking of some way to get said 'pudding stuff'.

M - "What about it?"

H - "What's it called?" - looking way too innocent.

M - "Angel Delight Heather.. why?" - Mum is being a b*tch. heh.

H - "NO!"

M - "Excuse me?"

H - "It is pink!!! The yellow one is "Angel Delight".. the pink one is my favourite..Angelina likes the yellow one.."

M - "so......?"

H -"So it is "Princess Delight", cos I am a princess."



There's logic for you... lol

It's all me, me, me, me...ME!!!!

Random points:-


1. I am 34. 34 sucks so far. Bring on 35!

2. My hair has a life of its own... some days it plays nice and others it doesn't, these are usually the days that I am unable to avoid leaving the house, they are more commonly known as "school days" (YAY!)

3. I have 2 brothers.

One is a total friggin' hippy, happily living a nice and peaceful existence growing vegetables and drinking scrumpy (thats what hippies do isn't it?) with his gorgeous lil mini tree-hugger in tow.. love it..bless em!!

and the other one resembles this man at the moment check out that beard...you think I'm joking but I'm not...

4. I am a direct descendant of Alf Garnett... look see!!



heh.. that's my Grandpa Jack, it should be his birthday today (happy birthday!!!) but he's no longer with us... and from what I'm told he was a very nice man and not at all like Alf Garnett..

5. I am married to Batman AND I can prove it too..



6. Batman snores.. and I you tubed it.. heh.



yeah yeah.. I am a big b*tch.. this post is stuff about Jen that we DON'T know...lol

7. The name "in't it aren't we don't we?" came from my children. At one point in all there wee lives they would use the words "in't it Mummy?" or "aren't we Mummy?" or "don't we Mummy?" at the end of every sentence and it always made me smile.. of course then they started saying all 3... "It's time for nursery in't it, aren't we, don't we Mummy?" or .. "we're off to Nana's now in't it, aren't we, don't we Mummy?" - after a few times it sort of stuck and soon Jake and Rich and I were all saying it for fun... it went on forever and still, occasionally makes a reappearance, usually when I need a smile.

8. 259 is the magic number.. oh yes it is... it's the magic number.. (and that's a whole other story...lol)

9. It's cold today and my nipples hurt.... what? I said they were random...lol

10. I haven't even thought about Xmas yet and it's only 5 weeks to go. heh I'm way too cool to be organised.

11. I am destined to spend eternity "getting my house sorted". It's true!! I start off well and "Gok" the wardrobe and then fill it back up again.. or I rent a skip.. throw out all my old crap and then go shopping for new "crap" ORRRRRRRRRRRR I spend the whole day blitzing the room and throwing out junk and then I go into the kitchen to make a much needed cuppa annnnnnnnnnd (you know where I'm going with this don't you?) come back to find the kids have emptied their toy box onto the floor for that toy right at the bottom of the toy box that they just HAVE to have and then they've buggered off to play somewhere else and not bothered to tidy up.. OOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR I clean the bathroom and Rich chooses that day to shave his grizzly adams-like facial hair off and leave it all over my nice clean sink... OOORRRRRRRRRRRR... nah bugger it.. I could go all day with this one.. better save it for another post...lol.

12. I am off to see Alice in Chains on Saturday (YAY!) and my Mum is having all 3 kids stay over at her house.. for the 1st time EVER. This means that for over the last 8 years there has always been a child with me at some point every day... I will not know what to do with myself will I?

13. My driving test is SOON. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. not scared much.

14. I'm bored now. Bye. xx

Remember...

"They went with songs to the battle, they were young.

Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.

They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,

They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them..."

Today is "Remembrance Sunday" and it's something quite close to my heart.. Once upon a time my family must have been quite lucky.. as far as I know all the men that went to war in the first and second world wars returned home to their families... almost unheard of, for most families lost sons or brothers, fathers..uncles.. someone.

The 11th November was my Grandfather's birthday, he also died on his birthday in 1976 and although I was just a year old and remember very little of him I feel sometimes as though I knew him for years and years with all the stories that have been told and repeated so many times.. so another reminder right there and a nice person to remember too but today was a chance to think of others and there are none more close to our hearts right now than our very own Jessica and her partner Luke who lost their much wanted and very loved baby daughter Bella last weekend just 24 hours after her birth.

So today we went to Sowerby Bridge and laid flowers at her graveside in remembrance of her and for her parents who we love very much and who were at the forefront of our minds.

We will never forget.. soldiers lost, Grandparents from years gone by... parents who were much loved and very much missed and now.. precious angels taken much too soon... we'll remember them all.... forever.

busy busy busy!!!

Halloween weekend is always busy at Chez Savage what with my own personal "Prince of Darkness" (more commonly known as 'Jake') being born a mere 2 days before the event itself.. When I was very heavily pregnant someone suggested we call him "Damien" if he was born on the 31st as first babies are often overdue..thankfully he came bang on time and without 666 tattooed on his head... although he did have an awful lot of hair so I sometimes wonder..with him being the Spawn of Savage and all that..if i missed it, maybe I should shave his head and check sometime lol.

Soooooo there was much plenty of this..



gotta love Maltesers after all... and then there was a bit of this..bless him!!



and then when all that was over I nipped upstairs to the bathroom, came back down and found this...



all those toys and the buggers play with the bubble wrap!!!! How very rude....LOL


Next came a trip to the cinema to watch "Aliens in the Attic" which even I found funny.. and a good time was had by all.

Then Saturday night we had this..



I swear to God I don't know who had more fun Rich or the kids!!! (check out the red eye... I TOLD YOU THEY'RE EVIL!!!!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! (again!!!)

My baby boy is 8.

I dunno where the time went .. I have an 8 year old son.

Good God I'm feeling old... lol

Anyway there is much much more to post and loads of pics to upload but I am exhausted... and so you'll all have to wait until tomorrow for a proper run down of the day and for now I'll just say..


Happy 8th Birthday Jake, Love u lots. xxxx

Dirty word stories and letters saying sorry...

Pity the poor school teacher that opened my (almost) 8 year old sons literacy school book this morning with a view to reading a pleasant little story for this is most definitely not what she received...

oh no. Instead, my (almost) 8 year old son had obviously grown tired of using his imagination to write said story and had instead decided (in his infinite wisdom of course..) to write a bunch of dirty words instead!!

In his SCHOOL BOOK for goodness sake.. because as we all know.. the very best place to write a bunch of dirty words that you DON'T want your teacher to see (because a) you're writing them instead of doing your school work and b) you're writing them in the first place actually...) iiiiiiiiiis in your school book.. that your teacher reads everyday.. of course... she'd never find them there would she??

Just for the record.. I have NO IDEA where he gets this idiot streak from although I suspect it might be something to do with "he who can get his arse stuck in a McDonald's highchair for fun and do various other things equally as idiotic on a regular basis" ...more commonly known as his father - you know him as Rich.

What is it with little boys and rude words? Why do they find them intriguing? I can tell you it doesn't change much as they get older.. the words go from being "bum", "poo", "wee", "willy" and "boobs" (as were Jake's particular favourite today) to much ruder versions but the stifled giggles and snickers are still there even though the boy has grown into a man.. Richard LOVES a good swear word.. a new word for the female genitalia is a particular winner and he'll often use his new descriptive word as many times in the day as he possibly can.. even going as far as to call his friends (or me) it repeatedly...lol.

Men... can't live with 'em... can't bury them under 10 ton of bricks...

So.. Jake has had a very stern talking to and has learned a tough lesson today, his teacher WILL make it known when his behaviour is less than acceptable and not only that but she'll make HIM tell me all about it too..

I have learned my son is.. well.. his father incarnate but I already knew that..you only have to look at them together to see he was never gonna get away with that one.. bloody peas in a pod those two.

I also learned what an almighty biatch I can be too and how much like my own mother I am in that respect (LMFAO soz Mum, that came out soooooooo wrong and weirdly.. quite right too...heheh) when I made Jake put pen to paper for the second time today, only this time writing an apology letter to his teacher which I thought was only fair and proper.

Then I learned my daughter Heather really is a genius when at just 5 years old she got her own pen and paper and wrote an actual legible letter to Jake's teacher to apologise for his dirty words and damn... her spelling was better than his!!! She obviously takes after her mother that one ;)

LOL
xx

I don't like change ok? lol

Last night there was absolutely bugger all on the tv, so after a few minutes playing couch commando with the remote control (and a spot of serious channel hopping) I stumble across a programme on the FX channel that feels more than familiar...

Yes it's "Life on Mars USA"!! EXCELLENT think I, for I Love love LOVE the original and I've heard that the US have done their usual trick of taking a classic British programme, giving it an American cast and doing bog all else with it.. ok so the cast will be different but the jokes will be the same... cant be THAT bad then can it?? I mean after all.. the British version was absolutely brilliant and it's essentially the same so I snuggle down to watch.

Having seen it already I know the story, I am touched when Sam Tyler wakes up in the 70's (albeit in Noo Nork) and looks up to see the gleaming twin towers - nice touch, think I.. this could be quite good.. and I get excited as I know what's to come next....The Gene Genie.

This is what I got.



Wtf is this shit?

We give you the GOD that is Gene Hunt and you do this to him??? Harvey Keitel? what?

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Why would you do this?

Harvey Keitel is a fabulous actor... but he is NOT Gene Hunt... allow me to explain... bugger it.. lets have a look.. (The clip gets a bit dodgy when the music kicks in cos you cant hear the dialogue too well over the song - which is a bit of a travesty really cos theres some cracking quotes in there..)



So you see?? Gene Hunt is a b*stard...of that there is no doubt, but a gorgeous one. He's not an aging police officer like Keitel..even I could knock out Harvey Keitel.. lol

In the end I had to turn the show off... it's just not right and I'm afraid I wont be watching again... it has however given me the Life on Mars bug and I'm gonna have to buy the UK version on DVD whislt they're still cheap. haha

So then I got to thinking and I looked it up online, the US have not commissioned anymore episodes which is a total shame for even if we Britons dont like their version the show itself continued for another great series here and then we have had 2 series of its spin off "Ashes to Ashes" with Gene still played by Philip Glenister and DCI Alex "Bollinger Knickers" Drake played by Keeley Hawes, set in the 1980's and equally as brilliant.

I wondered how many programmes our US counterparts miss out on by taking the scripts and recasting them.. I dont know why they do it..maybe they don't get our accents (I can understand that, I live here and there are some dialects that confuse me too!!) which is fine I guess but it is notoriously difficult to translate the saracastic undertones in British humour.. I think sometimes it works - the US version of "The Office" is incredibly funny even though I prefer the English version, it still works both ways.. but most times something is lost in the translation.

I looked up some of the shows that we've sold to the US.. things like "Wife Swap" and "How Clean is your House" work wherever you are.. especially if you sell the other version back to us cos we love to see how the other half live of course.. As does "Pop Idol/American Idol" or "Britain/America's Got Talent" etc.

But we gave them Life on Mars and imo they ruined it.. as they did with "Absolutely Fabulous" and on the list was a bunch of British comedies and their US counterparts that only a pilot got made.. now we know they're funny.. "Fawlty Towers" was one of them and that has has THREE attempts at a remake.. (I dont know how successful they were) why? Why not just show the original?

"The IT Crowd" - hilariously funny and well received here and only the pilot made in the US, same with "Are You Being Served" - unaired pilot episode, "Coupling" - US version cancelled after a few episodes, it went on for years here, "Eleventh Hour" which was cancelled by the US network after 1 season despite pulling in 12million viewers and "Red Dwarf" which had 8 series (I think, could be 9) here but 2 pilot episodes in the USA that werent even aired.

I could go on but I think you get my point.

I don't get it.. as a nation we're sarcastic but funny and our comedy and not only that but our drama's too are brilliant.. LEAVE THEM ALONE... buy the episodes and air them if you want to share.. like we do with yours, we love "Friends", "Sex in the City", "LOST" etc, we watch hundreds of your shows and we appreciate them in their original form..and if you ever want to appreciate the full effect of ours that's how you should watch them too.. in their original form.

Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!!

Apparently I'm getting quite good at this driving lark and my instructor says its time.

So I booked the test.

There's a bit of a waiting list so its not immediate and no, I'm not sharing the date.. lol

You'll just have to wait and see.

Finger's crossed!!

whats in a name?

This morning I was watching "This Morning" with the lovely Holly Willoughbooby and the old silver fox..Phillip Schofield..for my US friends, "This Morning" is a daytime tv programme for bored housewives, students and the like.. it has some fun stuff, bit of fashion, a resident chef and doctor slot .. bit of music..u know.. time filling before lunch, simple viewing, little or no concentration required lol.

Anyway this morning.. on "This Morning" (ok thats annoying ME now..lol) they were discussing silly baby names. Apparently some blithering idiot has given birth to twins this week (not me thankfully!) and has given them ridiculous names.. a little boy called "Jack Daniel" which doesn't sound too silly... until you hear the name of his twin sister.. yes "Tia Maria" can you believe that? WHY? Why would someone do that to a child... as if naming your son after a bottle of spirits wasn't bad enough to then go and saddle his sister with the same? They should be ashamed of themselves. Whats next... "Malibu" and her little brother "Thunderbirds Red"? It's ludicrous.

So after they asked people to email in the silly names they'd given their children they then got on to stupid celebrity baby names..and boy have there been a few..we probably all know the most famous ones but I made a little list for fun.

Zowie Bowie - Don't think I need to tell you who that babyDaddy is.

Pilot Inspektor Lee - Jason Lee of "My Name is Earl" fame actually called his son this... I have NO idea why.

Brooklyn Beckham -named after place of his conception I understand and his brothers "Romeo" and "Cruz".. wtf goes through their heads?

Apple Martin, yes Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin (Coldplay) named their daughter Apple. I think Richard and I may have to have another child just so we can name it "cumquat" for shits n giggles.

Lourdes and Rocco - Madonna's kids.. weird.

Jermaine Jackson has a child called "Jermajesty" - he's a Jackson.. 'nuff said.

Katie and Peter and their daughter "Princess Tiaamii" - I dont need to say anything about this.. what makes me laugh about Katie and Peter is that they called their son "Junior"... yes "Junior" - not "Peter Andre Jnr", just "Junior" - I have three words for you and they are.. "thick", "as" and "shit".

and classic as they come... Bob Geldof and Paula Yates and their daughters "Fifi Trixibelle", "Little Pixie" and of course... "Peaches" poor little Peaches, her silly name does not end there... oh no!! Bob n Paula pulled a classic out for Peaches who's full name is...
"Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof"!!!!! How did she ever learn how to spell her name at school the poor bitch? Of course a few years later Paula Yates had another child with Michael Hutchence who was also given a silly name "Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence", hmm... ok then.

There are many more but we'd be here all day.. the viewers were emailing in their silly names - of which there were many, in fact some poor child in London is called "Lanesra" which is "Arsenal" backwards.. her parents were big fans...and no, I'm not making this up.

Anyway there I sat laughing away merrily at the stupid people and then I remember that my husband named my only son after an Ozzy Osbourne guitarist...yes my child is called "Jake Lee".. YES that shut me up quick I can tell you...lol

My daughters are Angelina and Heather - one of Richard's friends once joked about him naming his daughters after the most beautiful women in the world... Angelina Jolie and Heather Locklear of course ("There is a God... and Heather by thy name!!" - Wayne's World LOL) but in actual fact they werent really named after either.

Angelina was named after a friend's daughter who shares the name (obviously) and was a very beautiful little girl and it also means "Little Angel/Messenger" and as she looks quite angelic (only looks that way though) and never shuts up its quite apt..lol

As for Heather, she was Maria for the longest time and then we went to Scotland on holiday about 3 weeks before she was born and as we drove through Glencoe we looked out of the window to see the most gorgeous fields of purple as someone said "Look at the beautiful Scottish Heather..." and I looked at Rich and he at me and then she was Heather. Simple as can be.. they say a name just strikes you sometimes, well that one did.

I never thought at the time that people might think anything of their names... it's funny really.. and as I look back in my family tree I see so many names repeated and think maybe I should have called him "Jack" or "Sam" and maybe she should have been "Mary" or "Julia" or Napoleon!!!! (yes I have a great great great Uncle Napoleon.. yeah go on laugh, you know you want to!!) Maybe I should have researched this years ago and carried on some family names, kept some tradition to it..do people even still do that?

and so.. I wonder... what names did you give your children and what did it mean to you?

Too many bags...where's me jumper? oh no...

I never thought I'd say this but there are just too many bags...

ok ok I'm having you on.. I haven't got too many bags - this is practically an impossibility as everyone knows Jennie cannot ever have too many bags or shoes... or shiny things... or well.. I digress.. anyway what I mean is my children have too many bags.

School bags to be precise.

My children are 7 and 5 and 5 (yes twins..amazing! lol) why do they need all these bloody bags and more to the point why do I have to carry them all?

Do my children have arms? Yes.

Can my children carry a bag? Yes.

Is there any physical reason that any one of my children can give which might mean they are unable to carry said bag? No.

So why? No I dont get it either but every morning we leave the house and the second we're all out of the door and I've locked it behind me the kids throw them at me and I'm buried under a mountain of book bags and lunchboxes and they're all skipping up the street to school.

Even if I tell them they can carry their own bag at some point one of them passes the bag (and the lunchbox and sometimes even a coat or a school jumper too) whilst they scratch some body part or pick their nose or untuck a trouser leg from inside a sock or yank some pants out of their arse crack and then they continue with their journey and the next thing I know is we're at the school and I'm handing back THREE book bags and THREE lunchboxes and jumpers/coats etc and I realise I walked the journey to school carrying them all again and I dont know how it happened!?!?!?!

Maybe I'm getting old or maybe it's a "Mummy brain-fart" moment that happens at the same time every morning ad my children have learned to exploit it with perfect execution..I dont know, personally I think I'm just dizzy... and I think I have passed this trait on to my son.

This week has been a bit of a "blonde" week for Jake poor lad..but for some reason he has excelled with this.. let me explain.

Every Friday Jake's school teacher Ms Hudson hands out the homework and they have a week to complete and it has to be handed in the following Friday.

So last week Jake didnt come home with his usual home work sheet, he cant find it... its not in his book bag... and the smile that crept across his face as he told me and he realised that meant he had a "homework free weekend" had me thinking that this might have been slightly planned lol.
"No matter" I say "You can get it on Monday and start after school with it."

its not really a big deal, he still has time to learn to spell his 10 words and read his book and do his maths and english and science homework (year 3 this is... I dont remember getting this much work to do at 7!) before Friday and so on Monday mornng outside the school door I remind him to bring home his homework and he nods and takes his bags from me (cos I carried them again..) and off he goes.

Monday afternoon comes and I go collect them, we get home and I tell him to get started on his homework.

"Doh!" he says in his best Homer voice. "I forgot it" and he closes his eyes as if that will make a difference to my irritation with him. After a few stern words its decided he will bring it home the next day and will have to work harder.

Back to school Tuesday morning and I have deja vu!!! lol I give him his bags which I've carried (again) and remind him to bring his homework sheet and he nods and goes into school and at 3pm I arrived to collect him.

Jake wanders out of school carrying a bookbag and trailing his coat on the floor behind him (with about 30 other kids all trying to stand on it), he has no jumper on and has forgotten his lunchbox (this is normal behaviour for my boy) so I send him back in for his jumper and lunchbox.

He comes out 10 minutes later with his lunchbox..we are the only ones still at school by this time and the teacher has shut the door so he shoves it open with his bum (cos to use his free hand would be pointless right?), slouches over to me and drops the lunchbox at my feet.

"Where's your jumper Jake?" I ask. He shrugs his shoulders and gives me a..

"I dunno" as he puts a finger up his nose.. he's such a boy.

"Well have you looked everywhere?" I ask him as Heather and Angelina try desperately to push each other off the railings for entertainment cos they're bored now.

"No." he says with a sigh as he turns around and goes back into the school... 5 minutes later he's out again and still has no jumper so we head for home with me ranting all the way about the cost of the school jumpers (£10 each!!) and how he always loses them and I'm not buying him a new one and he really should look after his things more and yes.... I'm carrying 3 book bags and 3 lunchboxes!!

We get home I tell him to start his homework..

"err.....Mum?" he starts. In the midst of the jumper saga he forgot to collect his homework - again.
So a few deep breaths, a count to 10 and a bunch of 'under the breath' expletives later...I am calm enough to say..
"You better bring it home tomorrow boy or I am gonna be really cross" and he nods and goes back to the tv.

Well Wednesday was the same - still no jumper and the teacher was on a course (why is she on a course instead of teaching my child? WHY when she gets all that time off cant she go on her courses then? WHY do we have 'teacher training days' then? Is that not a good time for courses? apparently not.) and the teaching assistant (who is supposed to 'assist' rather than 'teach') has been promoted for the day to teacher doesnt know where Ms Hudson (the real teacher) keeps the homework file and so cannot give Jake a new sheet...nor can she find his jumper either.... or his coat.

I'm fit to f****** explode at this point I am. (I have to start blanking swear words.. my Mum reads this you know!! Yeah I know she's a fowl mouthed biznatch too but shhhhh dont tell her I said that.) Jake goes back inside with strict instructions to return with his coat at the very least..which he does and we go home.

On Thursday morning I remind him of everything he has to do... hand in his parents evening time slip, ask the teacher to either help him look for his jumper or check the other childrens incase someone has it and to bring homework... I get one out of the three and he finally brings home the homework.

I made him sit and complete ALL his homework and I made him write out his spellings so he wouldnt forget them too!! He usually spells them every night fine with me and then gets them all wrong on test day... I felt mean after but tough, he should have brought it home sooner.

So this morning (Friday) he goes into class, hands his homework and his parents evening slip in, gets new homework and his reading book changed and puts it in his bag to bring home, gets all 10 of his spelling words correct (wtf? how the hell did he do that after only learning them once?) and finds his jumper.

Where was his jumper all this time? In his P.E kit bag (of course... where else would it be?).

So I gave him a big kiss and held his bag whilst he scratched his itchy leg...and by the time we got home I had 3 bags and 3 lunchboxes... 2 jumpers and a coat, a shaker and 4 paintings (angelina my creative child) and 3 pieces of paper with parents evening times written on and 3 kids dancing on the doorstep as I juggled it all saying..

"Hurry up Mum I'm gonna weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

LOL..kids..anyone want a few? xx

Need for worry maybe?

Anyone who was or has become a parent (and probably most everyone else too actually) in the last 14 years will know who these guys are.

Toy Story has to be one of the best films ever made, We have both films, various TS toys have been purchased over the years and we absolutely cant wait for number 3..

I LOVE it and so do my kids.

Too much maybe....lol

If you've seen the film you'll remember this little guy...

Sid.

Sid's a bit mean.. he takes apart toys and makes 'new' ones like this..

.

All very disturbing I hear you asking but why is this cartoon child causing me worry lately??

hmm..well, have a look at this....



So... Jake and Sid, separated at birth much??

Angelina has an old, but very much loved Simon Cowell bobble head doll. She was distraught when she pulled him out of the toy box and his bobble head caught on something else and came off..

and

So distraught she went to bed crying.. whilst Jake took the opportunity to 'create'.. maybe I should change his name by deed poll to "Dr FrankenJake"!! Anyway.. by the time I came downstairs he had worked his magic and was laughing like Dr Doom in a "MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" kind of way... it was very disturbing.



Look at his face!! he even looks a bit mad..lol



Needless to say Angelina is not impressed with her "Simon-horse"... teeny bit traumatised but not impressed. LOL

Angelina-isms for the weekend!!!

Angelina was playing nurse this afternoon.. the cat didn't really want to play so it was up to Daddy to be wrapped up in makeshift bandages and ordered about for a bit.. but first we had to discover exactly what the problem was and why Daddy was so sick...

Nurse Angelina :- "Now Daddy....did you get run over by a car....? or bollocks....? or did you fall out of a tree? Here have a sick bowl."

before you ask...yes she did...Rich nearly peed himself and I choked on my coffee.


Next it was time to phone the "Ambliance peeples..hmmm..yes."


Nurse Angelina:- "yeah he's broken his legs now... yes they're very broken.."

Me:- "and his feet are a bit smelly..don't forget that.."

Nurse Angelina:- "...and his feet are a bit.... nooooooooooooooo i cant say that mummy.. cos the ambliance men wont come if his feet are smelly!!"


aaahhhhhhhh I do love her so very much.

The w*nker of the week award is baaaaaaaaaaack!!

I'm fed up.

Not only am I fed up but I've lost the will to live... ok ok not quite.. but I HAVE lost the will to shop which is, let's face it... just as bad if not worse for the self-confessed shoe-a-holic that I am.

can you hear the warning bells ringing??

*le sigh* this could be bad.


so...for why am I so fed up? I know you're wondering.. yes, I'm psychic too of course..

WELL.. it's the fault of these people..



and it goes something like this...

I ordered 2 things in the last month from them ^^. I ordered a new gym bag and a new desk because the old one was falling to pieces.

I had to order online and pay the £4.95 delivery because the desk came direct from the depot and therefore I couldnt pick up from the store so I pay the fee and my delivery comes 2 days later as promised. 2 boxes (desk) and my new gym bag.

First off the gym bag is not the one I ordered. I read the terms and conditions which state that sometimes they have to send a similar replacement as they cant guarantee they'll have the stock in... I KNOW Argo's have a 'stock check' system - you cant order the item if its not in stock so how they manage to send me a replacement bag I don't understand...especially when the replacement only has ONE similarity to the one I ordered, that being they're both made by 'Adidas'... great job there Argos I think but at the end of the day a bag is a bag and it'll do the same job and as I'm in my happy place that day I let it slide.

Some time later (cos I'm a total procrastinating lazy bitch and my husband is just as bad and we cant get around to doing what we need to do to get said desk made and installed in the correct place..) we finally get around to opening the boxes that contain the desk... well I use the term 'desk' rather loosely because what Argos have sent me is a set of legs for said 'desk' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... ANOTHER set of legs for the 'desk' I have now made space for by destroying the old one and shifting the furniture around for.

I have a computer on the floor of my living room... no desk but lots of lovely beech coloured legs. Winner.

I'm ranting like a good 'un.. bloody argos this... piggin argos that.. etc - you've read about my legendary rants here...I'm sure you can imagine.. even the kids ran for cover.
My husband took control and phoned Argo's customer services who were apparently very good and assured him that a replacement would be with us within 2 days... not perfect but enough (at this point) to soothe me for a little while and we find something else to make up instead (see post about the hubby, the mother and the screws...o_O, I'm sooooo gonna have to pay for that lol).

Sure enough on Tuesday morning (no less) the man with his van pulls up outside and drops off replacement and picks up lots of unwanted legs and all is well with the world once more... until the box is opened and it becomes more than clear that some 'sod' (for want of a better word) has dropped my lovely desk and theres a bloody big chunk missing from the top corner of it.

I go from this



to this



in approx. 0.2 seconds.

Bloody Argos!! Why is it everytime I buy something from that God forsaken place there is something wrong with it? Every piggin' time.

Rich phones again.. they cant send out a replacement until Monday because they dont take 'returns' at the weekend..

weekend? It's THURSDAY woman!!! but delivery apparently takes 2 days.. except of course when you pay £7.95 for Next day/Saturday delivery as opposed to the £4.95 I'd paid originally but sssshhh Argos dont want to talk about that fact.

So now I want a job at Argos cos their weekend starts on a Thursday (which sounds great to me).. I'm practically jumping up and down with frustration now, its a good job he has the phone or I might have ruined the poor girl's week.

I have no choice but to accept the replacement on Monday BUT I make damn sure I get an address to write a complaint letter to before he puts the phone down and believe me.. someone's gonna pay for this.. they're also going to refund my delivery charge at the very least although I'm thinking I'll have to claim for 3 days off work for their 3 separate delivery dates because all they'll give you is "Sometime between 7am and 5pm" and I might try get the cost of the bag bag too.. especially as they're still advertising the other bag and that cant be right now... can it? I'm checking trading standards and trades decriptions/sale of goods acts as I type...lol

I might enjoy this after all.. heh