waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!

Its the end of the world...



I can't cope without Doctor David dammit!!!!!

I'm off to put my head in the oven...

How old??

My little boy is 7 (yes I said SEVEN).

Where the hell did that go?

a few moments ago I was bringing him home from the hospital and now he's a monster sized 7 yr old with an attitude!!! I gave birth to a skater boi!

Did you know I am "Mummy-man" now and Rich is also more commonly known these days as "Dad-dude"?

7 years gone in a flash and if the next 7 go as quick I'll have a strapping 14 yr old on my hands by tea-time!!! Thats a scary thought....

Anyway, I know one day you'll read this so... I love you, even if you call me "man" and "duh" and I hope your 7th birthday was everything you wanted it to be... I know you haven't put the DS down since 7am yesterday morning so at least I got the present right!! nub loo. xx

Sssshhhhhhhhh its a secret!!!

I can write this here cos I suspect that he (Rich) doesn't really read it!!! LOL

I have booked my theory test for Monday the 17th November at 11am.

You are all duly required to keep everything croseed... better sit down first peeps. ;)

Sssssshhhhhhhhhh though, don't tell Rich, I'll never live it down if I balls it!!!

hehehehehe

The case of the missing tv remote

The tv remote is missing again :(

I hate it when the tv remote is missing. It's annoying.

First of all Rich has the digital hooked up to the tv through the video and the dvd player and his stereo and various other electric appliances and maybe his left nut for all I know and I'm sure he does it this way to confuse me for shits n giggles. He says its because we don't have enough scart sockets but I have no idea what that means so it could be true or it could be total bollocks and either way I would have nooooooo idea...

so anyway when I turn on the tv I then have to find the actual television remote control to put it on the 'av channel' before the digital will work, otherwise I just get that fuzzy snow stuff that is really boring to watch...then I have to find the digital remote to start changing the channels...and of course then the phone rings and so I have to go back to looking for the original tv remote to turn it down because Virgin Media are the devil and purposely made shit remote controls that don't turn down Toshiba tv's just to piss me off...

So..turning the tv on is traumatic, especially when you consider that we then have a video remote and a dvd remote as well as the remote for the ipod docking-thingy and I struggle to find any of them!!!

I have had a bit of a revelation lately though, it seems that the tv remotes only go missing on the days that Richard is home, like today for example. This weekend has been no problem, we have a system running the children and I, they hid the tv remotes and I give them jammie dodgers to 'find' them - its a system that works well for us, the only time it fails is on Daddy's day off....

Suddenly the tv buttons are missing and no one can find them!! Angelina is most stressed about this, she loves her biscuits dammit!!! She can't cope with not being able to find the remote and so she randomly brings me other things instead... like the hair brush or a shoe and then she stands with that expectant "You're going to get me a biscuit now, aren't you?" look on her face and I have to disappoint her...for I cannot find the buttons either.

I phoned my husband at work this evening to shout at him for being unable to find them again, this has not happened since his last day off I realise and so I called to tell him. "Oi Twat" I say... "Ou est le tv buttons? yer bollock-faced get" (or similar words to that effect...) he cannot tell me, for he does not know.

Oh no... that would be far too easy!! If he were to remember where he put the tv buttons then my life would be far too simple and this is in direct conflict to rule no.1 of the husband's handbook for dummies 'Thou shalt make things as difficult as possible, as often as possible for t'wife!" in fact I'm pretty sure there's a sub section in there about losing the tv remote on purpose "thus making her throughly miserable and unable to watch EastEnders" <---- see!!!!

Anyway, I have no tv buttons and I am resigned to the fact that I will have to get up and turn over the tv ever half n hour for the rest of the evening... well until he gets home and then I can make him do it instead!!!!

That's it!

I'm done!!! I'm off to hide under the bed until 2009 before anything else goes wrong!!!

Rich's Dad was taken to hospital last night with a suspected heart attack. He had a HA about 3 years ago and made a good recovery but this week he's been having 'funny turns'. So yesterday Liz insisted on ringing an ambulance and they took him to Redhill hospital in Surrey. Chest x-rays and blood tests etc were given (all come back clear btw) and they decided to treat as a HA even though they actually suspect its more likely to be Acute Angina or that maybe his stent has moved etc.

Any way, he's home now but damn, he gave us a bit of a scare.. he's a truly lovely man and I have a huge amount of love and respect for him and his wife Liz.. apart from the fact that they both fookin hilarious they're genuinely loving people, towards each other and every one else and the thought of another loss this year just fills me with dread, I don't think I could cope with anymore.

Also add to that the tosspot that knocked over my garden wall last night and it had been a truly harrowing evening.... think I need a bottle of Vodka and some cheesecake under that bed with the dust-bunnies and me....

I would like to...

officially declare the year 2008 over and I propose we now move on to 2009 as soon as possible please, preferably Thursday the 30th October before those buggering trick or treaters arrive and comfortably after my son's 7th Birthday on the 29th for which I have already purchased the much desired red nintendo ds lite and games etc... can't be wasting money now can we??

Anyhoo, its been a really REALLY crappy year and I feel it should now be over and as there is only a few weeks of it left, I am forced to wonder...would anyone really miss it?

I have drawn up a list of pro's and cons to support my idea, hang in there with me... its not complicated.


CON.
anyone who has a birthday between October 30th and Dec 31st would obviously have to forfeit all presents. Sorry.

PRO.
Anyone who has a birthday between now and Dec 31st will officially always be one year younger than they actually are...which is great for 39 yr olds. YAY

PRO.
Halloween would be cancelled.

CON.
I see no 'CON' with the above statement, I hate trick or treaters and I hate going trick or treating. its sucks. end of.

CON.
Christmas would be cancelled.

PRO.
Christmas would be cancelled and we'd all be a lot less skint!!!!

CON.
We'd miss Bonfire Night

PRO.
Fireworks would not be onsale again until next year, thus allowing us all plenty of peaceful nights sleep, which is an instant winner for me cos I hate fireworks.


PRO.
I will not miss dark nights or dark mornings, in fact I think we should hibernate as a species anyway... much nicer and cheaper too.

CON.
Again, I see no 'CON' about the lack of darkness... it can only be a good thing!!


So you see, it is actually a rather good idea. So who's with me on this? feel free to add anymore PRO/CON's you see fit... lol

Get well soon Lou!!!

I'd just like to give a shout out to me old mate Lou 'Stun Beam' Gillard.

Lou and I have been friends for a whole load of years although we lost touch somewhere in the middle for a while, anyway we met up again this year at my Dad's funeral, Lou was kind enough to come and support us even though it had been such a long time since we last saw each other and I appreciated that so much.

She's not very well at the moment, and after an operation and a short spell of 'parole' from the hospital to home she's had to go back in due to a spot of pneumonia.

I'm making light of this cos well....thats just what I do isnt it? but in all seriousness I am worried about her and her lovely hubby Rob and kids (Emily and Xander) and so I would love for any readers I have to send her their good juju vibes and I know you all will.

It could be a while before she's fully recovered and allowed home again and that's going to be very difficult for the kids so I send them love and wish them well and hope that Rob knows if he needs any extra help that we're always available.

Love you lots Lou!!
xx

pfft.... humbug.

Today I be mostly.... unimpressed.

I left my house this morning to take the children to school and it was raining. I do not do rain on 'pfft' kind of days... so this was my first gripe of the day.

Then I left the tumble dryer on whilst I went to Mum's as it was raining and I have 3 kids, dry clothes is a necessity really!! So I sat at Mum's chatting and drinking her coffee, I emerge from her house at nursery kicking out time and discover the sun is shining and its quite warm... and I have probably needlessly burned ridiculous amounts of electricity running my tumble dryer. The electricity people must love me. Twats.

So I pick up my children from school, Heather INSISTS on eating the pear that Mrs Robinson gave her on the way out of the door regardless of the fact that its not quite ripe and I tell her she'll get a belly ache from it. She eats it and half way down the road says her tummy hurts and I should have told her not to eat it!!!

Angelina decides she will only eat cheese today. Cheese sandwich, cheese strings and cheesy crisps, this is what she wants... I of course do not have a single slice of cheese in the house and so we must go to the co op and purchase lots of cheesy bits for lunch, we do so and on the way home she changes her mind and wants Jam instead.

We get home, they take off their coats an wellies at break neck spped cos its fun to dump 2 winter coats and hats and gloves and wellies on top of Mum who is sitting on the stairs to take my own boots off cos I'm bursting for a pee and I am covered in coats and winter paraphernalia now and have to fight my way out of it and put it all away/hang it up without peeing my pants in the hallway.... fun.

I manage it AND I manage to get to the bathroom without losing control of my bladder (which by the way is not easy and you can all sod off with your laughing and come back when you've carried twins that like to jump up and down on your bladder for 8 months and try to ruin your pelvic floor muscles - when you can do that and still manage to get to the bathroom - having held it for at least half an hour whilst waiting outside the school and then going on an impromtu trip to the shops and being buried under a shitload of winter woolies - without peeing yourself or even dribbling a lil bit...yes THEN you can laugh at me!!!) and then I came back downstairs to make said lunch.

I switch on the tv and nothing happens. no tv. so I swear. Then I get told off for swearing.

I turn it off and on again and the Virgin Media box gives me the message that my box is updating and will start shortly and I breathe a sigh of relief.

So.... 40 minutes later I am still waiting for the box to start, I turn it off again and still nothing. Now I'm pissed off, the kids are moaning naturally, its lunchtime, they like to watch Dora whilst they're munching on their carrot sticks - its fun!!! and then there's me and my Gilmore Girls obsession and NOW I'm really angry cos I realise that I'm missing my one joyful 45 minutes of peace that I have a day when I send the children to play whilst I watch my crappy American 'comedy/drama'.

That does it. I pick up the phone and dial 151 which should connect me straight to Virgin Media, only it doesn't. It goes dead. SO I phone my mobile - thats fine it connects straight away - ok... I've paid the bill then haha.
I try the 0800 number and the 0845 number that costs £1 a minute - none of them are working and so I hit the internet and virginmedia.com.

The page opens and I head to the service check page - what a suprise its not working!!!

Ok...I'll email them now whilst I'm so angry and well... it takes 48 hours for a response and anyway, my inbox is knackered cos there's obviously something very wrong happening at Virgin Media today!!!

Kids look like this at the moment ---->

and I'm not feeling much better so out comes the Charlie and Lola dvd and there is quiet once more...

I'm back to pulling my hair out though as the cable box still isn't fixed and Charlie and Lola are on for the 3rd time already....

oopsie..

Well I got tired of playing silly buggers with the washing, all that in and out was making me dizzy (ooer!) so I thought "Arse to it!" and splashed out on a spanking new tumble dryer and do I looooooooooooooooooooove it?? YES I DO!!!!

Scared the crap out of the delivery man though, he brought it round the back of the house on his little trolley and to the conservatory door, well he found a 6ft cardboard cut out of David Tennant staring at him and nearly jumped out of his skin. I almost peed laughing, poor guy was a smidge embarrassed. "I thought your husband was the Doctor for a minute then!!" he said

I wish.... *sigh*

LOL