The case of the missing tv remote

The tv remote is missing again :(

I hate it when the tv remote is missing. It's annoying.

First of all Rich has the digital hooked up to the tv through the video and the dvd player and his stereo and various other electric appliances and maybe his left nut for all I know and I'm sure he does it this way to confuse me for shits n giggles. He says its because we don't have enough scart sockets but I have no idea what that means so it could be true or it could be total bollocks and either way I would have nooooooo idea...

so anyway when I turn on the tv I then have to find the actual television remote control to put it on the 'av channel' before the digital will work, otherwise I just get that fuzzy snow stuff that is really boring to watch...then I have to find the digital remote to start changing the channels...and of course then the phone rings and so I have to go back to looking for the original tv remote to turn it down because Virgin Media are the devil and purposely made shit remote controls that don't turn down Toshiba tv's just to piss me off...

So..turning the tv on is traumatic, especially when you consider that we then have a video remote and a dvd remote as well as the remote for the ipod docking-thingy and I struggle to find any of them!!!

I have had a bit of a revelation lately though, it seems that the tv remotes only go missing on the days that Richard is home, like today for example. This weekend has been no problem, we have a system running the children and I, they hid the tv remotes and I give them jammie dodgers to 'find' them - its a system that works well for us, the only time it fails is on Daddy's day off....

Suddenly the tv buttons are missing and no one can find them!! Angelina is most stressed about this, she loves her biscuits dammit!!! She can't cope with not being able to find the remote and so she randomly brings me other things instead... like the hair brush or a shoe and then she stands with that expectant "You're going to get me a biscuit now, aren't you?" look on her face and I have to disappoint her...for I cannot find the buttons either.

I phoned my husband at work this evening to shout at him for being unable to find them again, this has not happened since his last day off I realise and so I called to tell him. "Oi Twat" I say... "Ou est le tv buttons? yer bollock-faced get" (or similar words to that effect...) he cannot tell me, for he does not know.

Oh no... that would be far too easy!! If he were to remember where he put the tv buttons then my life would be far too simple and this is in direct conflict to rule no.1 of the husband's handbook for dummies 'Thou shalt make things as difficult as possible, as often as possible for t'wife!" in fact I'm pretty sure there's a sub section in there about losing the tv remote on purpose "thus making her throughly miserable and unable to watch EastEnders" <---- see!!!!

Anyway, I have no tv buttons and I am resigned to the fact that I will have to get up and turn over the tv ever half n hour for the rest of the evening... well until he gets home and then I can make him do it instead!!!!