I think I'm in the twiglet zone...
Had my annual bath (it being January) heheh.. I'm kidding of course but something strange happened whilst I was in there..
Happily bathing am I, it's peaceful.. all the children have already pee'd and there's no danger of my peacefulness being disturbed...or is there??
Well of course there is otherwise I wouldn't be writing this..lol.
But seriously, why do they do that? When I run a bath I ALWAYS ask everyone in the house if they require the use of the bathroom before I get in.. I MAKE the children go pee.. I warn my darling husband (on pain of death) that if he does not go now he may not change his mind in 10 minutes when I am relaxing under all the lovely bubbles, even if his bowels are threatening to explode..
So why is it then when Mum gently lowers herself into the lovely warm water some little sod (for want of a better word to describe my angelic children) taps on the door and says....
"Mummy... I need a wee..."
and then in traipses the first child desperate for a wee, now I'm not daft.. I know that once this child has been allowed to enter that the others will quickly follow and the last one always needs to go one further and do a big poo and the smell lingers long after they've gone again...lol.
So knowing my fate is sealed and my peaceful moment is over I do the necessary and wash and then do my hair and decide I should quickly shave whilst I'm here cos that leg looks a bit hairy and.... wtf?
I have one hairy leg and one bald one. o_O
Feeling a little confused I check under my arms and sure enough I have one hairy and one bald..
"ok srsly now.. wtf is going on?" I say as I double check and sure enough one bald and one hairy...all kids of things start to run through my head..
"How is that possible?"
"I'm a freak.. I have lost the ability to grow hairs down the left side of my body...left side of my body.. oh God that can't be good..."
"Whats going on??"
"OMG Is my hair gonna start falling out?!?!?!?!"
"Have I still got my left eyebrow??"
I'm stood up in the bath now trying to lean out to look in the mirror over the sink and trying not to break my back or something as I check I still have both my eyebrows and at that moment my smallest child (Heather, not youngest but definitely shortest..as Angelina likes to remind everyone lol) enters the room, gives me a cheeky grin and a "Hi Mum..", whips down her pants and starts to do the stinkest poo in the history of bowel movements..ever.
She sits there smiling and swinging her legs and I remember that during the previous bath a mere couple of days earlier she'd done the same.. infact I remember the smell was so bad that I had to get out of the bath and leave the room..
in the middle of shaving my legs......!!!!
Relieved, I start laughing and Heather starts laughing (she has no idea why though..) and then the smell hits me... and I fly out of the bath and leave the room..with one bald leg and armpit and one hairy... still.. I should go fix that actually, whilst she's still at school!!!
