Booker Prize anyone??

This is my daughter Heather looking all intellectual in her pretty glasses...

As you all should know by now.. I am raising a genius.

Now.. I know that every mother thinks her children are wonderfully smart and talented and I'm sure that all mothers go on and on and on and on about how their little darlings are advanced in every way possible and considerably better than everyone else's child..etc etc.

I realise that is how I might come across but I'm really not saying that at all..I am genuinely astounded by my child this evening..

Don't get me wrong, I knew before this evening that she's very clever.. they all are (see?.. Mums..what are we like? lol) but it wasn't always the case, no, in fact, at one time I was quite worried about these lil girls that came into the world 6 weeks early..and weighing about 5lbs each.. we worried about Heather most... first out and having broken her waters 40 hours before her birth she was treated with various concoctions to combat infections and was quite ill for a while.. wouldn't feed voluntarily, had no sucking reflex, coughing up bright yellow stomach bile at every feed.. pulling out her nasal tubes..laying motionless and just existing sometimes.. it was awful.. and quite hard going there for a little while..

Still, 2 weeks later they both rallied and were allowed home and our journey truly kicked off in style..  at 18 months when she would just lay on the floor and wouldn't sit up for long nevermind roll around or crawl or walk we were worried again and even though we were assured that its normal for preemies to be slightly behind (and she also had a big brother doing her bidding for her) they'd be caught-up to their contempories soon enough and before we knew it, it was time for school..

Heather loves school.. she reads everything, books.. leaflets.. back of the cornflakes packet.. everything...and it shows, she's way advanced in her reading level and is coming up quickly behind brother Jake who is 3 years older.. he's only a smidge worried ;)

So it should have come as no surprise really when she rushed in from school with some folded pieces of blank paper that she'd glued together in the middle at school to make a "book" for me to read.  She sat all afternoon and then some more after dinner and finally (with minutes to spare before bed!!) she was ready..

This is Heather's book.. bare in mind, she's 6 years old.. yes SIX.  enjoy.



this is the blurb.


front cover











How fab is that???  It's in her bookbag ready to go to school in the morning to show her teacher.. bless her, she's so proud of herself..

Booker Prize here we come.. ooh!! maybe the Nobel Prize for Literature... wonder if Richard & Judy will read it in their bookclub?? lol

A budding author in there making.. you read it here first.. watch this space. ;)

It's time for lunch!!!

It's lunch time..

We're hungry....

I know!! Let's get the 5 year old to make the sandwiches!!!!

20 minutes later we were still hungry....

Wanna see why???

Well... you know what to do...

hit the button..

Noo Noo Noo Noooooooooooo!!

I think I'm in the twiglet zone...


Had my annual bath (it being January) heheh.. I'm kidding of course but something strange happened whilst I was in there..

Happily bathing am I, it's peaceful.. all the children have already pee'd and there's no danger of my peacefulness being disturbed...or is there??

Well of course there is otherwise I wouldn't be writing this..lol.

But seriously, why do they do that? When I run a bath I ALWAYS ask everyone in the house if they require the use of the bathroom before I get in.. I MAKE the children go pee.. I warn my darling husband (on pain of death) that if he does not go now he may not change his mind in 10 minutes when I am relaxing under all the lovely bubbles, even if his bowels are threatening to explode..

So why is it then when Mum gently lowers herself into the lovely warm water some little sod (for want of a better word to describe my angelic children) taps on the door and says....

"Mummy... I need a wee..."

and then in traipses the first child desperate for a wee, now I'm not daft.. I know that once this child has been allowed to enter that the others will quickly follow and the last one always needs to go one further and do a big poo and the smell lingers long after they've gone again...lol.

So knowing my fate is sealed and my peaceful moment is over I do the necessary and wash and then do my hair and decide I should quickly shave whilst I'm here cos that leg looks a bit hairy and.... wtf?

I have one hairy leg and one bald one. o_O

Feeling a little confused I check under my arms and sure enough I have one hairy and one bald..

"ok srsly now.. wtf is going on?" I say as I double check and sure enough one bald and one hairy...all kids of things start to run through my head..

"How is that possible?"

"I'm a freak.. I have lost the ability to grow hairs down the left side of my body...left side of my body.. oh God that can't be good..."

"Whats going on??"

"OMG Is my hair gonna start falling out?!?!?!?!"

"Have I still got my left eyebrow??"

I'm stood up in the bath now trying to lean out to look in the mirror over the sink and trying not to break my back or something as I check I still have both my eyebrows and at that moment my smallest child (Heather, not youngest but definitely shortest..as Angelina likes to remind everyone lol) enters the room, gives me a cheeky grin and a "Hi Mum..", whips down her pants and starts to do the stinkest poo in the history of bowel movements..ever.

She sits there smiling and swinging her legs and I remember that during the previous bath a mere couple of days earlier she'd done the same.. infact I remember the smell was so bad that I had to get out of the bath and leave the room..

in the middle of shaving my legs......!!!!


Relieved, I start laughing and Heather starts laughing (she has no idea why though..) and then the smell hits me... and I fly out of the bath and leave the room..with one bald leg and armpit and one hairy... still.. I should go fix that actually, whilst she's still at school!!!

I don't want to be in a pie.. I don't even like gravy!!!!

Can you guess what Heather's new favourite film is?

Chicken Run... gotta love it. ;)

Here's her fave bit. enjoy.

Pretty Princesses and pink glasses.

My little miss got some glasses.. and after a trip to the hospital optician who stuck her some eye drops in to dilate her pupils we discovered she's a little long sighted.

But my little Princess was sooooooooooooo good promised her, her pick of any glasses she wanted..... those eye drops hurt y'know.. and she didn't even flinch.

So prescription in we headed off to Specsavers and in she marched up to the counter where she told the lady her name and that she needed glasses and she'd like pink ones please.

Well pink ones she has... doesn't she look stunning? She chose them all by her little self..

They were so impressed with her that they even got her a pink case to keep them in!!

Of course Angelina's pissed... she wants glasses too.

quick Heather-ism for the day...

Heather - "Mummy..."

Mummy - "Yes darling"

H- "You know that pudding stuff...."

M - "What pudding stuff would that be Heather?"

H - "In the cupboard.. the delightful stuff"

M - (opening cupboard) "This stuff?" (waves packet of Angel Delight at Heather)

H - "hmmmmm..yes." - child looks decidedly shifty and is obviously thinking of some way to get said 'pudding stuff'.

M - "What about it?"

H - "What's it called?" - looking way too innocent.

M - "Angel Delight Heather.. why?" - Mum is being a b*tch. heh.

H - "NO!"

M - "Excuse me?"

H - "It is pink!!! The yellow one is "Angel Delight".. the pink one is my favourite..Angelina likes the yellow one.."

M - "so......?"

H -"So it is "Princess Delight", cos I am a princess."



There's logic for you... lol