Smile

I haven't felt like smiling in a long while now.. I do, because well.. you just do don't you? You see a friend across the street and flash them a smile and a wave or a child says something funny and you laugh and with it comes a smile.. everyone does that... what I mean is a real smile, a spontaneous smile that comes from deep within and warms you from the inside out.

They're few and far between, moments that make a girl smile like there is nothing can dampen her day that is.. infact you could probably tag them to the defining moments of your life.

One day in class..ooooh..I don't know, a whole lot of years ago lol... Our teacher (Mr Parkes) gave us all a big poster-sized piece of paper and a pen and told us to write our names on them. He then went round and wrote a comment at the top of everyone's paper and folded it over so the next person couldn't read it and then the rest of us kids hads to go and write comments for each class member and fold it over etc etc. They were supposed to be nice things that you liked about the person and all of mine were about me smiling... Mr P's comment was "Keep smiling Jennie, it lights up your face.", someone else wrote "always a smile for everyone", "Smiley Jen" etc etc etc and the list went on.. I think I still have it somewhere in my box of school stuff.. I hope I do.

All these things I'd forgotten about until the other day when I finally decided to go through that box of Dad's personal papers thats been sitting patiently waiting for me to look at when I feel ready and strong enough to cope.

At first I laughed as I realised what silly things people hold onto as keepsakes.. birthday cards with funny messages in them, newspaper clippings.. baby announcements etc..
Then came the sadness as a life's work became clear, school reports, engineering certificates, and the photos.. baby photos, wedding photos, grandchildren.. all kinds of things in this big box.. all things that are nice to have but why do we keep them? What does it do for us?

Its almost 2 years since my Dad died and still he hasn't left... I'm still finding pieces of his life, discovering new things in the bottom of boxes and I am constantly surprised at how much stuff came out of that little house... I worry it might fall down now without all this stuff in it for the walls to lean on..lol. It seems that my Dad, like his own mother.. kept EVERYTHING.

So there I am pulling stuff out of the box.. laughing at some, crying at others and affectionately cursing my father 'the horder' for me having to sit and go through it all..and then, right at the bottom of the box is a piece of paper covered in that familiar Dad-like scrawl... I think I only noticed because of the handwriting.. because this was a box of cards and photo's and certificates not letters... but there I can see just a corner and 2 words and those words were "Jennie" and "smile".

As I pulled it out and started reading the tears came.. not just a few but hundreds, running down my face as I realised what I'd found were the notes Dad made for his speech for my wedding.

My Dad was a great public speaker. He wrote fantastic speeches (not only for himself but for politicians in his time too.. he'd helped me write more than my share of school project speeches too) and one of the things that people remember from that great piss-up that was the Savage Wedding of June 2000 was my Dad's speech and how he made me cry with his opening line... and so I'd like to share, I know some of you will have heard it before from the man himself and some not.. so here goes..

"Father of the Bride, I have been called many things in my time but this is a first and a pleasurable admission...

In the interests of my health this will be brief. However, despite being such a shy and retiring lad, I still want to say something about these two here today.

Jennie - the enigma which is thee...
Jennie - the child who smiles with her eyes
Jennie - the one who exudes so much love and breathes happiness into anyone who falls within her gaze...

and Richard, hereafter to be known as "Braveheart", what a man - courage indeed...

It isnt for me to offer either or both of you any kind of advice. In fact, in common with the rest of the world's population I'm totally unqualified in such matters.

However, minor technicalities like that have never stopped any of us before and they aren't going to stop me now!

I spoke of Jennie and mentioned her smile... Well she does, she's certainly made me laugh a time or two anyway.

I think of a smile from anyone big or small, young or old as a ray of sunshine and in its own right it is to be cherished and indeed nurtured for what it is and what it means and what it brings.

Keep her smiling Richard and you'll be doing alright. If she stops - duck. But then with the grace and speed that you move I can see that you have clearly experienced what I'm talking about!!

Enough then, except to go full circle and say..

"Father of the Bride" - yes.. the feeling of pride is quite indescribable.. So before it drifts to an end, with my blessing Richard love her and you will feel the full force of her love - and that is something you will never want to be without.

I wish you both all the happiness that life can bring, enjoy it!!"

- Peter Smith, June 24th 2000.



My Dad was a very affectionate man, especially towards me. There is no doubt in my mind that he adored me and this piece of paper reaffirmed that in my mind the other day and so today, I am smiling, just for him...