Job done... yes thats another thing to cross off the "Things my Dad thought I should do" list
Yeah I know I was a bit shocked too but its true... look!!
Sorry had to black out bits for obvious reasons but there it is.. the pass certificate and I dunno if u can see this but what surprised me was that I only had 2 faults!
there, hope thats not TOO blurry! lol.. yes I know.. 2 faults.. who'd have thought I was that good? hehehe especially after having failed repeatedly due to the small matter of shockingly bad nerves..
I'm more than a little surprised that I managed to get in the car for the test because I almost cancelled at the last minute.. sooooo glad I didnt now!!
So thats what I've been doing for the last couple of weeks.. which explains why I havent been able to concentrate on updating here and blogging the fantastic holiday we've just taken in Scarborough with the kids and the mother in law... it was truly brilliant, there were some amazing giggles and there are about 200 photos and lots to tell so now the driving test is out of the way and I am able to focus on something else I shall be spending the weekend typing out the "Savage Tour of 2011!" posts... sorry for delay but I think after all I've been up to this week that i deserve a break dont you? Watch this space.. I promise it wont be long..lol
Now.. if you'll excuse me.. I have a date with a cheeky lil Peugeot 307 I like to call David... ;)
The kids are all smiley happy that this years done and they have 6 weeks off now and I'm smiley happy that I have 6 weeks off work.. although I will be home alone with 2 stroppy 6 yr olds and a bonkers 9 year old for the summer.. but meh.. minor detail... I HAVE SIX WEEKS OFF WORK!!!!!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!
I LOVE this part of my job...lol
On another note, I've now completed a whole year in my job at the school..and in that time you become quite attached to the people around you. I work with a GREAT bunch of people who I'll really miss for the next 6 weeks and bizarrely I think I'll miss some of the kids too.. they've sure given us the runaround somedays but we've had some fun too.. its not always hard work and of course there are our year 6 leavers too and I'll genuinely really really miss some of them.. so.. I wish them all the best and good luck at their new schools. I hope they have a great time.. I loved high school.. I hope they all have as much fun as I did.
As for everyone else.. well... I'll see you in 6 weeks you horrible lot!!! LOL Have a GREAT summer!!!! xxx
play on" they say... and it has been, in my head constantly lately...
ok brace yourselves.. I think my Dad is messing with me.. o_O
Yes I know he's been dead for 3 years but we've had this conversation before.. My Dad always told me that if he could find a way to bloody haunt me he would..
We need to go back a bit for the full tale.. a long long time ago I had a few cross words with a dentist-type person that I didn't like so much.. well he kept hurting me and then he kept charging me for the priviledge and that relationship wasn't working very well for me see.. so when he told me one afternoon that I needed certain work doing that I didn't think I needed I wasted no time in telling him I would not be partaking in his idea for my perfect smile... to be honest, he'd drained the well of all cosmetic dentistry funds and I was a wee bit sore... so no, I dont really want my fillings replaced, they're fine and doing the job perfectly and I dont really care if they're that nasty old silvery colour instead of the new white ones.. I'm not doing it.. argument ensues and I tell him to shove his drill up his... well, I dont think I need to go on... you can probably guess...
I didnt see him so much after that.. or at all even.. that was about 5 years ago..
How does my Dad fit into this? Well he told me to apologise.. or better still find a new (or cheaper) one!!! But not being so keen on dentist-type people, I did neither. Oops.
Jump forward to last year and there I am munching down on an apple or something and out comes my bloody filling.. and can I just add at this point that it wasnt one of the nasty old silvery coloured ones that have been in my head for about 20 years.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it was one of his stoopid new white ones that are supposed to be BETTER.. yeah right.. TWAT,..I hate to say I told you so, you fat balding old sadist but I DID!!!
Anyway.. filling (white) out.. "Oh bugger." think I.. "Thats not good.." and the next morning I wake up with a very sore tongue..cos well.. you just cant leave it alone can you? and the edges are always a bit rough lol..So, I avoid dealing with it for a few days because it doesnt hurt...which was a big mistake because then I bit into something and broke the tooth..
"Ahh shit." say I as I pick out tooth from my mouth. "Thats going to sting abit!"
Only it didnt. Not only that but a week later as I continue my search for a new dentist.. it STILL didn't. See its above the gum line, so its not going to.. there wasnt any root exposed... and I couldnt find a dentist.. and I dont like them anyway so I didnt try tooooooo hard.. and I left it.
Of course now I'm in total frigging agony and the pigging thing needs to come out.. I still cant find a dentist and will most certainly have to pay for private dentistry which, is fine now cos I can afford it but still... I dont want to phone them cos I'm a big girlie poof and would rather be in agony obviously.. lol.
So again, how does my Dad fit into all this? Well.. I have noticed when I need to do something or rather, he thinks I should be doing something I am bombarded with music.. more specifically a known "Dad tune" everywhere I go.. it'll crop up on a tv show or be on when I put the radio on and be on another station when I change channels.. it'll be on in the supermarket etc.. taxi radio.. If I then dig out the cd and "acknowledge" that I've heard it, it will stop for a day or so.. if I ignore it then I hear it in my sleep.. it'll be the song on the radio that wakes me in the morning for the next 3 days.. one of the kids will be humming it etc..
He drives me crazy with it. It only stops when I do what needs to be done...soooo.. I'm phoning the dentist in the morning..cos I cant take anymore of the Beach Boys "Good Vibrations" this week..
Go on admit it.. you're singing along now aren't you?? Yeah you are... I can hear you!!!
I'm not artistic..or even naturally creative. I could never draw.. when my elder brother was painting a mural on his bedroom wall (remember the inner sleeve for Led Zepplin's Stairway album with "the Hermit"? yeah, talented tw*t painted it on the wall) I was still drawing matchstick men.. in fact, I'm 36 and I STILL draw Matchstick men..lol.
So.. I'm not artistic.. I can't draw for shit. I can crochet and knit and sew but I have to work hard at all of them and on a good day I can bake too but I'm not a "natural" cook either..ask my husband (the chef) how many times I've set fire to his beloved kitchen over the years and I dont mean the times I did it on purpose either.. well come on..I have to get out of cooking dinner somehow. ;)
But I can write. Its one thing I've always been able to do. I sit with a paper and pen or more commonly lately, the Laptop (in these days of modern technology) and I put on some background noise.. usually mellow music to keep my mind flowing gently and off I go.. Generally speaking I can sit for hours if given a chance just bimbling on and on about anything and nothing in particular. Some of its rubbish, actually most of its rubbish..lol and sometimes its just ramblings but occasionally there comes something.. and it's just there, like it fell from my lips as I chirped along to myself or my fingers did the "talking" (typing) and when I stop and go back to read there it is and I get that "wtf?!" moment and I don't remember writing it half the time... ooh..wonder if its not really me? spooky..lol
Throughout my life I have written about mainly everything I've ever done. Diaries and journals, short stories, letters etc.. if I was an interesting person there could be some money to be made here and my memoirs would be fairly easy to write given that most of it has already been recorded by my mad ramblings on a Sunday afternoon!!
When my Dad died, everything was written down.. all my thoughts and fears, memories.. some of it was posted here in letter form to him, or in a darkened moment of sadness and despair and the rest was hidden from public view and has either been stashed to a back up disc somewhere or deleted in a fit of "must declutter the mind and cleanse the old soul" type thing.. I realise now that it was probably just too painful for me to go back and read through and also that I had decided I wouldn't want my children to find one day in years to come and therefore it was "buried" instead..as so many things are.
So as I said.. writing has been a constant to me really..it relaxes me so much but lately I haven't felt remotely sensitive to it.. like I'm out of tune with myself maybe. Life is busy, it rolls over and the days blend into one and then a month has passed and where did it go? There are plenty of worthy blog topics..I had a birthday, its fathers day tomorrow..I've been decorating the house and there are before and after pics and we've even been growing veggies and making things and all kinds of things are going on and yet I've got nothing.
I know my brain is as frustrated with itself as it is exhausted from the trials of parenthood, my temper is short and frankly.. fried. I'm exasperated by the little things and irritated easily and all because my usual outlet is failing me. I haven't the time these days, to sit for hours with a pen rambling in a long letter to someone..anyone and I have no one to write to really.. everybody is either gone or on facebook..lol
Internet chatting is fun but it isnt the same is it? Has the internet killed the one creative outlet I have?? Maybe so..
Or maybe not, for here I am.. no pen to hand but the words are flowing and Adele is serenading me with her dulcet tones..so maybe all is not lost after all.. unless... wait a minute... I better go back and read.. check if there's anything there or if I'm just babbling on again..
mmmm...just as I thought, total rubbish..lol. I need a new topic, maybe I should do a Nat and start writing book reviews, maybe I should go back to writing stories or maybe I should try something new like article writing.. maybe I should find a new penpal.. like you. xx
I started this letter days ago.. I figured if I began early, well in advance of the day it might give me the chance to work my way up to it slowly.. prepare myself in some way as if it might almost make it easier to bear this year...but it didn't.. and truth be told, I only really got as far as "Dear Dad" and then I stopped.. blank... and I'm not quite sure why cos it's been another eventful year and I have much to share with you so why I've struggled to write this time I don't know.
I think its because this is year 3. People expect you to have returned to a somewhat normal life by now.. I read an article recently where a woman was at the three-year marker in her grief for her daughter that had passed and she wrote that..
"Bob Deits, in his book, "Life After Loss," describes mourning as a test of endurance. "It takes a long time to work through the various phrases of recovery," he explains. According to Deits, the two year marker, or milestone, as he calls it, requires self patience. We expect normalcy because we survived the first year. "The second year proves how lonely it can be to make it without the one you lost."
But few grief experts have written about the three year marker and it is also significant. A friend called me about this marker. "Three years have passed since my husband died," she said. "It's still hard." I understand her feelings because I almost feel like I am starting my grief journey anew." *
and I have to say its true. I knew it was coming but I still tried to ignore the day, I buried my head in the busy, noisy life I lead these days and just didn't think about it and then I woke up yesterday morning feeling like a train had hit me and even though I tried to get on with my day and took the kids to school etc I still came home and sunk to my knees and sat on the floor for an hour staring into space.. as you do y'know.. no reason lol.
So still I find I'm no closer to dealing with it. The first anniversary I braced myself for & tackled it head on, the second I allowed to sneak up on me and this year I ignored it and still... still it hurts the same as it did last year and the year before and the year before.. hmmm.. I'm running out of ways to cope with it now.. wonder what I'll do next year? lol
Sod it..I'll think of something...but for now... news.
Zakk's got chickenpox.. I'm reliably informed he looks like one big spot poor lad.. and I had to giggle because I remember when my 3 got it and he got away with a patch of about 6 spots on his shoulder and Tracey was rubbing it in.. heh, she's not laughing now..
Anyway, he's not very impressed.. but Tracey says the calamine lotion is proving to be a great source of entertainment.. I think the words were "Ooh!! its a bit cold on my testicles Mummy!!!!"
Talking of Zakk you would be most proud.. he was the team mascot for Bradford City the other week.. he goes regularly with Phil. Jake and Rich went a couple of weeks ago.. Jake thought it was great.. Zakk got a bit bored and took his DS to play with (smart boy in my opinion..) which I dont think went down too well with Phil..lol
Talking of Phil.. he's going to be a father again, I'm told he and Catie are expecting a new arrival in December ...I'm hoping for twins - for sheer entertainment value and much giggling on mine (and Simon's) part but I don't think we're getting them.. boooooo :(
Zakk says it better be a boy, he wants a brother.. he's bloody sick of girls..even though Livvi is the cutest little girl I ever saw.. and she looks weirdly like your Mum still.. lol
Shona is 16 in a couple of days.. I think Tracey's trying my "ignore tactic" for that one ;) but thats not working either.. maybe that should have been my clue.. hmmmm....
Fran & Rose are 13!!! Where the bloody hell did that go then? They're beautiful.. James is still tall and well.. he's a grown up and I suspect is more than likely able to drink more than me (& you lol) and probably does too.. and little Albie.. ahh he's just so cute its not funny, I dont see any of them nearly enough :(
As for us.. we're still here, cuts and bruises and all.. Jake scared the living crap out of me recently by falling off his bike and attempting to eat some pavement and Angelina thought she'd try to finish me off by wiping the playground floor at school with her face... but they're all fine, just about anyway.
Heather got put on the "gifted and talented" list at school for her abilities in reading and writing.. when I told her she had a look of confusion on her face until I asked her what was up.. "Well which is it? Am I gifted or talented?" lol..she still reads everything she can find.. I often find her in the bathroom on the throne, swinging her legs and reading the back of the shampoo bottle ( like father like daughter.) and singing to herself..
Angelina is a social butterfly.. she asked why she wasnt on the gifted and talented list.. cos she thought she should be on the gifted and talented list and why is Heather on the list and why isnt Jake? and what is the gifted and talented list and who decides who should be on it and who shouldn't? and how long will she be on it for? and will she still be on it next year? and maybe I will be on it next time and Ooooh!! can I play out now? I had to wait until she came up for air before reminding her that if she shut up for a minute she might be able to knuckle down and do some work for a change and then they might see how smart she is and she might get put on it too, but she'd lost interest and had gone off to talk at someone else for a bit..
They're getting so big Dad its not funny.. they're tall and mouthy.. who decided it was important to teach these children to question me? Was that you? I have a daily battle with your Grandson who is pushing his boundaries every day at the minute, wanting to go further and play longer and stay up later.. I long for simpler days when he sat in his bouncer blowing raspberries at you in that house in Sowerby Bridge.. he was quiet then..and he did as he was told.. when he wasn't throwing spaghetti at me or sneezing pureed apple all over me lol.
He's discovered cricket (he's your Grandson thats for sure), he plays after school on a Wednesday (YES I've already told him he has to play for East Bierley and at county level for Yorkshire..lol) and he LOVES it..he's also in the art club too and I can't keep up with him he's got a better social life than me!!!
I found McGinnis, I tried to find him to let him know 3 years ago but I couldn't and then would you believe I was on facebook and Gaynor popped up on the recommended friends list.. we must have a couple of mutual friends, so I messaged and told her and she told Hugh, she gave me his number.. I haven't phoned him yet.. I probably should..I dont know why I didnt.. I will.
I also got a lovely letter from Mrs Bell, just keeping in touch.. she likes me to send her pics of the kids and keep her up to date with the news and stuff.. she misses you so much, she says she's always talking to you and can you please stop hiding her files.. its not funny anymore! lol. I need to mail her back actually.. its been a while.
I also need to phone Sandra too.. get her in the loop with Phil's news and then she can start knitting bless her..I haven't spoken to her since we sold the house, I hope we did the right thing with that..it was hard to let her go :(
Oooh and I need to tell you that Lisa was in the audience for a Jools Holland episode the other night.. yeah how jealous are you!?!?! lol
I still think of you everyday Dad, sometimes I even smile now.. occasionally I laugh too.. have to admit though, sometimes I still cry.. I told a girl I know that lost her own father recently that the pain doesn't go away and its always still there.. you just get better at managing it. I hope it made her feel better.. it was the truth as I saw it at the time..still is really.
I found a poem on a website today that reminded me of .. well.. things.. I should maybe share it with her too..
Good night Dad, love you....
xxxx
P.S. Why do I keep hearing this in stupid places and in the supermarket?? If you want to hear something you only have to ask y'know.. ;)
Oooooo its been a busy couple of weeks at Chez Savage but the hubby's out playing rockstar
<----- there he is look!!!
and the kids are sitting completely silent infront of Phineas & Ferb ("Curse you Perry the Platypus!!!") so I thought I'd take a minute or two to update you as it's usually bedlum around here..lol.
Well the girlies decided they wanted their ears piercing and they've been going on about it for a while now and so we decided that it was probably time. We headed in to town with Nana in tow for support and we hit the shops. First we tried a well known accessories shop (also known as "Claires") that does piercing.. now... call me tight but I think that £25 for someone to put a hole in your ear and plug it with a piece of surgical steel plated in gold with a fake diamond on the end of it a wee bit excessive.. especially when you have 2 little girls to do.
Yes thats right.. £50 Claires accessories wanted to charge me. FIFTY pounds.. count them.. I did.
Why? well apparently the girl goes in to the back of the shop and brings out her mate to help her.. and they do an ear each at the same time... and that costs £25 cos they both doing it.. in half the time obviously, which means they'll be able to do twice as many too I suppose.. at £25 a time.
Er... no.
cue lil jewellers across the mall. £17.50 for both kids inc said piece of surgical steel plated in gold with a fake diamond on the end AND a bottle of ear aftercare wash... trouble is she does it one ear at a time.
oof.. can they cope? for £30 less?? er... yes. Yes they bloody can.
Angie went up first.. which quite frankly worried me, she's notoriously soft in the needle department at the docs when they're handing out jabs and she screams when she grazes a knee so I figure she's gonna punch someone for holding a piercing gun to her earand then she wont let her do the other one and then Heather wont have it done and I'll have a child with one ear pierced.. lol
but I can't fault the kid.. she never made a sound. I know!!! shocked the shit out of me too..lol
Heather made a face and held her ear and gave an "OUCH!!!!" but she didn't stop her doing the other one an here are the results... Angelina has "ruby" ones and Heather has "diamonds" lol
So that was that.
The last week we had "World Book Day" and the kids (and staff) had to go to school dressed as a character from their favourite book.
Well, its not really difficult to guess what character Princess Heather went dressed as is it??
and there she is. I made her put a t shirt and leggings on under it cos.. well.. its not been very warm lately! lol
Angelina pulled a blinder and went dressed as a ballerina.. "Angelina Ballerina" of course..
"Cos I am Angelina and I'm dressed up.. as a Ballerina!!!! Brilliant int it Mummy???" LOL she had no trouble posing for pics and even had to stand up in assembly and tell everyone who she was and why Angelina Ballerina was her favourite book.. I wish I'd been able to see that one.. I can only imagine what she said LOL
anyway.. here's the ballerina.. looks innocent doesn't she? lol
The boy wanted to go dressed as a Jedi... doesn't want much does he?
Now I can sew.. and I have a sewing machine but even I'm not that good that I can knock a Jedi costume together in less than a week and so I do what all mums do when faced with a dilemma such as this... I cheated and bought one from Amazon.
One Jedi costume was winging its way to us.. bit expensive but still.. he'll get some use out of it think I.. and it comes with a belt, a lightsaber and even a plait for the hair so he can be all Anakin Skywalker.. bless
So we wait... I ordered Saturday..paid a lil extra for fast postage, figure it'll be here... Tuesday.. Weds at the latest and thats fine cos dressing up day is Thursday..
By Weds afternoon its not here. I check online and the tracking number is up.. its on the van for delivery and they delivery up to 7pm at night.. winner, it'll be here..
but at 6.55pm it wasn't andthere's no one answering the phone at the depo which to be frank, really pisses me off cos I would LOVE to be shouting at someone by this time... the boy's on the verge of tears and I have nothing.. what to do what to do...?
Phone Mum.
what?? Yes I know I'm a 35 year old woman but tell me.. when you have a disaster of epic scale on your hands who do YOU phone?? Yes thats right.. you phone your Mum... don't judge me..lol.
I explain my problem and she says.. "I have some black material.. I'll make him one. Don't let him go to bed, I'll be 5 minutes."
I give the.. "nooooo you cant come down now its 7 o clock, it'll take hours... we'll never make it in time.." blah blah blah but really I'm thinking "please please please help me mummy.." LOL
So poor Nana Sue turns up in her nightie and slippers.. (she's shoved her jeans on too dont worry) and poooooooooooooor Grandad John who is in extreme pain and can hardly move his head but has still got out of bed and driven her down here for me.. or Jake more likely lol... and she wraps him up in black cloth and whips out some pins and a needle and starts sewing...
and bugger me it looks good!!! she sews it up.. tries it on.. sews some more.. tries it on him.. takes a bit out and changes it.. sew some more... she's like a f*ckin whiz.. I'm not kidding and I didn't think I could get it done in 4 days and she does it in 2 hours. Full on Jedi cloak.. even Jake's impressed.. he's planning on going as "Evil Anakin just as he's changing bad" cos the cloak is now black instead of Jedi brown.. and he smiling!!!!
Nana puts the last stitch in and says "Ok ... come try it on Jedi" and there's a knock at the door...
"who the bloody hell's knocking ont'door at this time?" say I and I open it and there's a man... with a box and a big smile..
"Parcel for you!!"
I sign for the parcel.. slink back into the room carefully cos I'm convinced my mother is stood at the back of the door with a really big bat waiting to clunk me one and I see Rich out of the corner of one eye with his whole fist in his mouth trying to stifle a giggle..and John sat doing the same on the other sofa.. or he would have been had he been able to move..lol
and my mother says... "I don't f*cking believe it..I'd just put the last stitch in!!!!"
Thankfully we were all laughing and Mum, who I have to say was fabulous on a grand scale that evening... took it brilliantly.. even when Rich said "He couldn't have timed that better..I didn't pay him - honest!!"
My poor Mum.. and after all that of course Jake wanted to wear the bought one (as you do..) but no matter.. Angelina's dressing up as Darth Vader in the black one later ;)
Here's the Jedi.
and here they all are together..
being silly as usual..lol
So that was our week. At the weekend we saw the lovely family.. took a trip to see Luke, Jess and baby Beau on Saturday which is always lovely.. and then saw Vicki, Scott and kids (tooooo cute) on Sunday.. it's been a lovely week and whats even better is that now I've managed to get the blog post finished and its bed time for the kids!!! I'm winning all round tonight! ;)
