I bought this --->

and it needed building. Rich has a day off .. not anymore, he can complete some jobs think I. mwahahaha.
So I phoned my Mum cos Rich and DIY spells automatic disaster. He should have a warning sign or a siren really..maybe like the air raid siren.. or one of those "this car is reversing" sounds that some cars have, except of course it would be "Warning.. this man is a danger, step away from the screwdriver!!" hehehehe..
ok where was I? oh yes.. phoned my Mum cos she just loves the entertainment value of it all really and told her what we were up to, she immeditately offered Johns services as he can do DIY just fine.. well as long as she's reading the instructions anyway..lol and down they came.
I am the "tea/coffee police" and so I know my job and get to it straight away... and from there we progressed as follows.
^^ Richard's arse.
^^ much fun in the garden with the bubbles...
^^^ Rich is a tool.. sorry.. Rich AND a tool. what I want to know is who decided to give him access to the tools anyway? One minute he was 'supervising' and the next he was discussing screws with this lady

more commonly known as "Jen's Mum", there she is offering my husband a screw o_O..
I can hear you giggling... but I'm not kidding am I Mum?? noooooooooooooooo
I'm playing bubbles happily with the girls and Rich says "Jen yer Mum's trying to get off with me again..." the conversation apparently went like this.
John :- "See... he's good at screwing!" as in with a screwdriver... only Rich being Rich had to make something of it with a very filthy..
"mwahahahahhaha heh. I'm really good at screwing...heheheh"
Mum fell into the trap as she alwas does with a..
"Well thats a good job cos john can never find the hole..."
Rich :- "Are you propositioning me again Sue?"
My poor Mum... she looked like... well... this

The first time my Mum 'propositioned' Rich is forever etched on all our minds... only cos Rich wont let us forget.
We'd taken a holiday on the lovely isle of Rhodes and my Mum was having a shower, as Rich walked past the bathroom door my Mum said "You can come and get in if you like.." thinking it was HER husband John outside the bathroom.. poor thing got such a shock as Rich said
"Nah you're alright... ta for asking though!"
he wasnt phased... he wandered into our bedroom and said calmly
"Your Mum just tried to get off with me, she wants me to have a shower with her.."
he didnt even look up for his paper or whatever he was doing... and he turned and went back out of the room.. poor Mum was mortified... and probably a bit disgusted too I expect..lol
Anyway Rich has told everyone he knows about this many times since and now he has a NEW story to add to his collection. lol my poor Mum.
So... back to the DIY. After a bit more of this..

and more posing with the screwdriver

and lots more of this...

we finally had some of this

(think thats called 'work') and we ended up with this

job done and a great time was had by all... except Mum who was mercilessly teased for the rest of the day. Business as usual then!






