Not enough hours in the day!!!

I have soooooooo much to do today it's not funny.

So rather than getting started I decided to sit here and type instead!!! hehehehehe I'm crap aren't I??

Anyway, I only have 10 minutes before I have to collect the girls from nursery so thats my excuse... 10 minutes is neither use nor ornament (Ooooh!! Had a Nan flashback then) to anyone and so I might as well take the opportunity to have a 'JenJen moment' and do something more interesting than cleaning!! See.... Juicy logic is much better than regular logic.

Seriously though, what can a girl do in 10 minutes?? (9 actually now...) Well, I could go dig out my wellies cos let's face it... this rain is NOT going to end in the next 9 minutes ORRRRRRRRRR I could NOT, cos wellies aren't cool really when you're 33 are they? (*Mental note - must buy new wellies, preferably pink. Oooh!! or green with lil frogs eyes on them YAY!!!).

So, rain not stopping...must dig out wellies and huge coat cos can't find an umbrella... why is that?? Why in the summer can I find 14 umbrellas (and all usually at the bottom of the stairs waiting to trip me up) but when its actually raining there is not an umbrella to be seen? and there are not that many people in my house... but still, no brollies. hmph.

ok.. so lots of rain, no brolly, no wellies and 7 minutes to go... I'm gonna get wet aren't I? Bugger.


On the plus side of today my friend and favourite neighbour - also known as 'Jen'- returns home from her super long summer holiday (5 weeks is a ridiculously long time to be away from me, how rude) and I cant wait to see her!! I feel a LOOOOADS of gossip and copious amounts of coffee moment happening in the VERY near future...or more precisely, this afternoon.

all this excitement and then there is Jake to collect, dinner to make (Spag Bol), my nephew should be making a sportacus-like appearance this afternoon (he likes to entertain me) AND Jake has football practice at 5.30pm although with this rain thats more than doubtful I expect...

Tonight is bath night (post football bath is an absolute necessity cos them footballers have filthy knees when they've finished!!) again and I have to squeeze all this in before the Big Brother final!!!

I don't know how I am going to manage it...come to think of it...how will I manage without Big Brother every night?? I might have to find a new hobby...

Oooh 11am, time to brave the rain and I haven't even thought about the housework yet!!

xx

BARGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Angelina informs me that tomorrow I am off out to purchase a tree house...or more specifically 3 tree houses (one for each of them) BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT Angie's has to be the biggest because she has the "biggest and prettiest head" (of course... what other reason would there be?) and she will have to pump them all up because "I am a great pumperer upper arent I Mummy? Yes I am!."

and what will these 3 delightful pumpered uppered tree houses cost me?

10p each - "they're not cheap you know Mummy" ;) but I am also informed that I can afford it...

and how does she know that I can afford it?? (this is the best bit) because if I go out and get 3 treehouses for Angelina, Heather and Jake with Angelina's being the biggest to incorporate her large head then AFTER she has pumperered them upperered and then had a biscuit and some juice and a rest (Union rules an all that bollocks lol) THEN she's going to give me 50p!!!!!!!!!!

oh well...thats ok then... o_O

wonder if my 20p change will buy me shoes?

So I stifle my giggles and listen intently to my imaginative child and wonder where all this weird stuff in her head comes from and just as I shake my head and smile she answers me...

"I'm a bloody mental aren't I Mummy?? hahahaha"

God help me I love that girl.

mwahahahahaha!!!

Rich said my chocolate sponge was "Gorgeous".


o_O

Anthea Turner eat your heart out!!!!

I am having a rare (and it is VERY rare) Domestic Goddess kind of week...

This week (in my infinite wisdom) I decided to take on the job of MAKING the birthday cakes for my children this year instead of taking the "easy route" down to Tesco's for the ready made variety.

Since the first birthday is in 3 weeks I thought I'd better get started!

So, this is no ordinary birthday cake, no no no... this is the birthday cake of a fussy girl child...and not just 1 fussy girl child but 2!! a twin cake!!

Yes... I now realise that I am completely barking mad...BUT I'm having fun just thinking about it so I decided to go with the flow and do it anyway hahahaha.

I enlisted the help of my lovely sis in law and bezzie mate Tracey and her fab cookery skills ("Ooooh let's make meringue snakes!!! uh oh...they're looking a bit more like splats really, Bugger it, KIDS! Look what we made!!!") and her fancy cake books of course and we're off. Firstly we decided to make a list and hit the t'interweb for the ingredients, then we decided we thought £30 in ingredients might be a bit much so we're off to Morrisons instead!!!

Pray for us....


So that was the cake thing sorted, next I decided to use up some crap jam. I'd tried to do a good thing by purchasing reduced sugar but I didn't realise that by reducing the sugar in the jam production it made it totally SHITE and of course no one wanted to eat it, so I made jam tarts instead. They were a winner!

This evening I am preparing a chocolate pudding with custard for my little man's (Jake not Richard hahaha) pudding as he has returned to school today and I always like to spoil him on his first day back cos I miss him (all together now.... awwwwwwww!!!) I only miss him the first day though.... hahahah

At the weekend I cleaned the whole of the conservatory (and thats a big f*ckin conservatory) and it took me ages and I was knackered... as was Tracey, who I made help me heh.

I turned up Jake's school trousers, fixed his school jumper, put names in everything (for all 3 of them...hate that job) and prepared his lunchbox before bed last night. (I also bathed them and did the obligatory nit-check incase you're wondering too... I just LOVE being a mum!).

THEN I got them all up at the crack of sparrows fart this morning and made porridge for breakfast before cleaning teeth and washing faces and dressing and shoving people out of the door for 8.30am, then I came home and stripped and washed the beds and got the sheets dry before the rain started and now.... now I have to go get my precious son...

I'm knackered!!!

Bet Anthea turner has a woman to go collect her kids...oh wait, Anthea doesn't have kids, heh... she isn't as perfect as me then!!!

Shooooooooopping!!!!

I was just about to say that it wasn't for anything good... but then I remembered it was, it was for school uniform, which meeeeeeeeeeeeeans that its almost time to go back to school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can I get a "HELL YES!!!!!!" from all the Mum's that have been playing "To strangle the 6 year old or not to strangle him?? That is the question..." lately??

Yes the count down has begun. It is 12 days until the new school year begins and as much as she loves her son and heir and her 2 precious princesses this Mummy can't FOOKIN wait.

I swear, between the nemesis child (Angelina) and the devil in disguise (Heather) and the boy Spawn of that Satanic hairy woolly mammoth doomsters monster I married I do NOT know which is worst.

They fight over the tv, they fight over toys, they fight over who has most sweets or who's wearing which lipstick or in Jakes case

"why can't Jake wear lipstick Mummy??"

"Because he's a boy??...no angelina you cannot cover Jake in makeup if he doesnt want you to... no, please stop poking him in the eye, he doesnt want your finger in his eye even if it has pink eyeshadow on it... Angelina if he doesn't want to wear green eyeshadow either......OH HELL NO LADY!!! YOU DID NOT JUST PUT LIPSTICK ON THE CAT!!! ...why does she smell of Valentino?? Jake put your sister down...no, not on her head, NO you can NOT 'drop kick her into next week'...ok..is it bedtime yet? hmmmm 8.30am best have some breakfast then..."

and so on... it has been most joyful but enough already, its time to go back to school.

So I do formally declare that if the lovely Mrs Nixon doesn't open the school very very soon I'm sending the kids to play at her house next half term. There...see how much you like that biznatch!

Beauty school!!!!

Guess what my little madams got up to this morning?

 

 

 

 
Me thinks this having girl children could get awfully expensive!!!

 

which one of you buggers keeps interrupting the Juicy love then?

Its no secret that my brain hasn't been functioning at its full capacity lately, I think a combination of this years events and the kids being off for the summer holidays is taking its toll and my stress levels are rocketing..

I appear to be enjoy myself very much however, in the few meazly moments of that thing formerly known as 'sleep' that I am squeezing in usually between the hours of 4 and 7am (I swear I got more sleep when I was breast feeding twins!!!) and I have embarked on a series of what can only be described as 'steamy' rendezvous with some of the most delectable hotties of the celebrity world!! Yes.... Its fun...but yes I'm being sarcastic too and not all of them are as lovely as my favourite 'Doctor' lol

ahhhhhyes 'tis true, last week I had a dalliance with the lovely David Tennant (always a winner!!!), he's a regular visitor to my night time life though so there's nothing new there...cue *le dreamy sigh* for the lovely Doctor ;) but anyway, over the last few weeks he's had to share me with my bezzie mate Donna's hubby (also known as Johnny Depp), DCI Gene Hunt... o_O ya..not quite sure what happened there (although knowing me it probably involved fluffy pink handcuffs hahahaha), think it may have something to do with that Ashes to Ashes boxset I bought Rich for his birthday hmmmm anyway where was I?? oh yes...and *drum roll* Steven Tyler - I said I was weird.

But this is not what worries me, oh no. What is worrying me is that I am hearing voices. I know I've always been a little weird in the psychic ability department. It's true that I have picked up the phone to ring someone and found that they are actually on the other end of the line having just dialled my number AND you know the one where you dream of someone that you haven't seen for ages and then you're walking down the street (usually with a hangover and looking like cat vomit or worse) and there they are?? Yes, thats me... I do that ALL THE TIME!!!! I finish people's sentences and know what they are going to say and all that rubbish too so I do know I can be weird sometimes but really...hearing voices is one step too far even for me.

So there I am in the midst of my 'meeting' with the aforementioned Mr Tyler and its just getting interesting and someone shouts my name in my ear and I wake very quickly, the dream melts away as I fly out of my bed and look out of the (still) open window. It was that real that I was convinced someone was calling me, then I realised that someone had said called my maiden name and I have to admit I went a bit cold.... there is no one around here that would know me by that name...

So I figure, ok... spooky occurence then and hurry around checking kids are still in their beds and I find Rich snoring downstairs on the sofa, tv and lights still on etc so I put a blanket over him and switch off everything and go back to bed.

Then I have to fight the temptation to call all of my relatives and make sure no one's had an accident or died or had a baby or something equally life changing and I figure that they would phone me so I reach for my mobile and the battery is flat.... I feel a little like I've entered the Twilight Zone and I'm pissed off cos its 3.30 am and I'm wide awake once more and my dream was rudely interrupted by some person shouting at me who is yet to show themselves to me.

Are you thinking what I was thinking???

hmmmm....I wondered that too..