It's awards ceremony season again... over the last few weeks we've had the Bafta's and the Brit's, there's the Golden Globes, the Oscars...to name but just a few.
So in keeping with all the glitz and glamour I've decided to present my own award this week....
As you can see by the title of the post its for "W*anker of the Week" and this week it shall be given to Asda (or the UK Walmart for our friends across the sea), or more specifically Asda Direct.
I, in my infinite wisdom decided we needed a new sofa... I wanted a fairly cheap one - if you had seen the mess my kids made of the last one you would not want to pay much for a new one either and so I decided to buy one of these faux leather, mass produced cheapies and then it didn't matter so much when they wrecked it... that and because I'm tight as a duck's arse and refuse to pay over inflated prices of DFS and the like...
So I scanned Argos book for a BOGOF offer and missed out on one in the January sales because I procrastinated too long and their new catalogue came out and I didn't like anything in it. Bugger.
No matter, think I... Tesco have launched a 'Direct' site (online store) I'll have a look there and then someone told me Asda had an online home place too.
Now, I used to work for Asda (in the lovely cafe with the lovely green and yellow uniform...Lou know's it well don't you mate? nice wasn't it?) and I prefer to shop there if given the choice as I find it better quality and much cheaper so when I also discover that of the 2 sofas in my price range, I actually prefer the one at Asda I take this as a sign that all will be good.
I buy a 2 seater AND a 3 seater (what credit crunch??) because it's time I had something nice that hasn't been previously owned by another member of my family and/or friends...lol I told you I was a tight arse... anyway, I pay the 500 and odd quid and the delivery charge and am fully prepared to wait my 28 days for delivery. This was at teh end of January. A few days ago Asda phone to arrange delivery (4 days early!!) and I removed the other furniture and cleaned etc in preparation... I am knackered btw.
They tell me it will be delivered between 8am and 5pm... oof, not great but ok I can deal and so I arrange for back up in the shape of my sister-in-law and her son, to help me entertain the children and stop them wall climbing whilst we wait for their new trampolines... (heh... you think I'm joking don't you?)..
Well bless the little delivery man at Asda, he calls me this morning at 9.20am to say he's 7 miles away and should be with me in about 20 minutes - give or take cos of the rush hour traffic... he arrives and in come my sofas... in two very large boxes. o_O
I make them open the boxes to check because the labels don't tally - they have different names on them but the sofas are the same so I sign and the delivery boys are on their way, Tracey and I open the box for the 3 seater and screw on the legs and the back rests and then arse about with box outside, she was one of the Queens guards on sentry duty outside the house and I was messing about in the tardis with David of course.... ok look... Tracey and I were left unsupervised, what did you really expect hmmmm?
So we have a workers "official brew break" and set about doing the 2 seater, open the box...drag out the sofa and the cushions blah blah...turn it upside down to attach the feet annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd......
no feet. no feet and no fixings.
b*gger!!!
we check the box and the sofa incase its underneath and nothing... we even shook it to make sure it hadn't fallen inside and nothing.
Ok.... where's my phone? I have 2 numbers on the delivery note, a number from the manufacturers incase of missing parts.. no answer, it just rings and rings until it cannot ring anymore! So I phone customer services at Asda. Now as I remember it, Asda are very strict about good customer service...they were when I worked there, not today though!!
I get through to 'Fiona', confirm my security details and flinch as she calls me by my christian name but I let it slide as I explain in a calm manner my problem, Fiona is appalled and will get right on it. She is going to e-mail the furniture department and inform them of my plight!! I wait patiently for her to give me something else... like "we'll have your parts out today!" but alas, no... Fiona tells me that someone will give me a "call back" within 24 hours.
Yes you heard me... it takes 24 hours to arrange for someone at Asda to phone me back.... like shit of a stick aren't they? I LOVE it.... NOT.
"No." say I. "It cannot possibly take 24 hours for someone to call me back only for them to then arse about for another 24 hours (or longer as it'll be the weekend by then) trying to get me some feet and bolts for my new sofa. I politely (and I truly am being quite polite - at this stage) remind her that I am not able to sit on the sofa as I can't take it out of the box because the wooden bottom will scratch my beautifully polished wood floor and that will cost a small fortune to repair and that I have 3 small children with very cold little bottoms sitting on said wood floor right now and what am supposed to do?
Fiona sighs and says in her snottiest tone "I appreciate that Jennie but we do have other customers too you know..."
and there it is... that red rag to the bull and I'm about to lose my temper.
"It's MRS Savage thank you very much and I would like to speak to your manager... now."
Fiona tries to push her luck by telling me that the manager is on the shop floor with another customer, but this is customer services, there is no shop floor and I am not impressed, I tell her that if he hasn't phoned me back within the hour I'll be calling him.
Of course he doesn't phone and true to MY word I phone back, this time I get a nice boy by the name of Zak... I cannot shout at this one for I can see my nephew (also called Zakk) looking up at me all gorgeously cute n stuff and anyway Asda Zak gets me a manager!!! His name is Christopher and he is horrified by my experiences of Asda direct so far... zzzzzzzzzz I been here before mate, don't flannel me.
Christopher listens whilst I tell him how rude his staff are, now I'm quite liberal really, I don't mind people calling me by my christian name but she p*ssed me off and I tell him so. I also tell him that I have waited patiently for 24 days (of the 28 day delivery scale) and haven't pestered them once to see if my order will be early even though they debited my account IMMEDIATELY and the only contact with them was an order confirmation email 24 days ago. I remind him that I know he has other customers but that I also, am a customer and my money has been lining their tills for 24 days now and I have not received what I ordered... and a part order is no good to my 3 children and their cold bottoms AND that I suspect Fiona neglected to tell him to call me back in the first place.... Finally I remind him that this is my first time purchasing home goods from Asda Direct and to be honest I'm not contemplating using them again soon but I will not be hesitating to inform EVERYONE I know (and then some) or their terrible customer service, shoddy goods and my dissatisfaction.
and I managed to do all this without raising my voice and/or swearing at him (I wanted to though). Christopher assures me he will contact the furniture department himself and then get back to me shortly... very shortly.
Sure enough he got right on it, I know this because Zak phoned me back within half an hour... he gave me bad news but he phoned me back!! LOL. So Zak tells me that Christopher got on to the furniture department, but the furniture dept were very rude to him (I see a pattern emerging here) and he didn't really get anywhere!!! Seriously!! I couldn't make this shit up could I??
I tell him I can totally believe that, so when am I getting my parts? He doesn't know but he'll phone me back today with a delivery date... for definite. I check that with a "Someone will phone me back today??" "yes" he says. ok...say I and Tracey and I have lunch with the kids and wait.
After a quick sandwich I phone my Mum to fill her in on my daily dramas and I tell her the story, she comes for coffee to try to cheer me up, she must have known I was stressed....wonder why? John says why don't I phone them and offer to go pick up the parts from their offices?
Good idea... I phone them and speak to a man called Michael who puts me on hold to find out if thats possible and then he cuts me off... so I phone back and speak to someone else who goes to
find a manager... but he's not available, he'll phone me back today though. Not good enough, I say and tell the boy that I want the parts or his sofa will be waiting in the garden for him to pick up in the morning.
I am growing tired of this now... at 4pm I have still heard nothing and so I repeat the process. Christopher is not available but Lee says he'll find out whats going on if he can put me on hold. He comes back and says he hasn't a clue... someone will phone me back. I give up and ask for a phone number of the complaints department or an email address as I can't really complain to customer services about customer services can I? He says there is no email address but I can send a letter to Head Office, I take the address and then go looking for the terms and conditions on the Asda Direct site... at the bottom it says
"you can email us by clicking the Contact Us link in the footer throughout the Asda Direct website"
Oooooooooooooooooooh!!! and so I click the contact us link. It brings up the telephone number for customer services!!!
I'm just about to put my head in the oven when the phone rings... its the man from Asda Direct!!!
He apologises and tells me that the parts are on the van and heading my way and that they will be here before 6pm. He says I have received terrible service and he can't apologise enough and I agree but say if the parts arrive today I will forgive all. I hang up and call my Mum and do the happy dance.... until the phone rings again and its the furniture department about my missing seat.
huh?? what missing seat??? I'm not missing a seat, I'm missing 4 feet and some fixings but all is well cos they're on the van on their way to me and then I sigh and say.. "aren't they?"
Nice man at Asda virtually laughs and says "Is that what he said? No they're not on the van, I've just sent an email to the supplier and I'll chase it up on Monday, if you're lucky they'll send them straight out but you wont get them today...."
I'm done. I'm all out of ideas... anyone?
