buttmunch's, long boobs and shoplifting?

This is my son.

My son is a little git....lol.

My son certainly knows how to get me.. he did it yesterday on a bus full of people.

We're heading into town and as loud as he can (without shouting) he says....

"Mum... are we going in that shop you like again?"

and so I say "Which shop would that be Jake?" and allow me to just prompt you to go back and look at the face in the above picture...yes... that face which says "hahahahahaha" all over it... for this is the face that looked up at me on the bus, the bus which I shall remind you, is almost FULL. I see this face and I get that sinking feeling.... that little git's gonna get me!!!

and he says...

"You know the one with books..." and I temporarily forget my fear and fall into the trap AGAIN.

"Wha? That doesn't help Jake, which one?" say I...

"Duh Mum..." - thats 1 point to Jake right there for managing to squeeze a "duh Mum" into the conversation in a public place...this is not allowed normally but I am still intrigued as to what he's on about and I neglect to give my stock response of "Steady on you" which immediately gives him the green light to continue... don't forget he's 7 and this is sport for him.

"That shop" by now Rich and the rest of the bus are as bemused as I am...

"Which shop?" say I... yes I did it again... its truly my own fault, I had ample opportunity to tell him to shut it by now.

"The shop that you steal the books from!!!" he says with a giggle.

My heart stops and my head starts spinning... I don't do shoplifting so I don't know why but there it is...

Rich is PEEING himself laughing and the lady sat behind Jake is giving me a look that starts as horrified but quickly turns into disdain and I begin to feel like a criminal.

"What's he talking about?" Rich says and looks at Jake who's really beginning to enjoy this waaaaay too much....

"There's a shop in town Daddy that Mummy steals books from!!" and he smiles that cheeky smile again.

"I don't know what he's talking about" I say as I blush...yes me...I BLUSHED. "Which shop Jake?"

"You KNOW!!" he says and he pauses as I shrug my shoulders at Rich who is still laughing...

"No I don't Jake...which one?" I start to explain (so the horrified lady can hear) that it must be a leaflet that I've picked up somewhere and y'know what kids are like and the colour is just returning to normal in my face again and he says...

"Argos?"

Argos.

ARGOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The lady sat behind him almost chokes on her cough sweet as I give him that threatening parental glare that only the highly embarrassed mother of a proper little git such as my son can.

He got me, well and truly and completely fair and square... I hate that... but he has my razor sharp wit and that I truly love and besides.... I'll get the little bugger back thats for sure...lol!!


It's been quite a week for the comedy classics in our house..

Lets talk boobs... or more specifically...man boobs/moobs LOL

Heather decided she loved her fathers, in fact she's fascinated by them...

"Daddy I just LOVE your boobies." she said, Whilst picking my giggling self up off the floor I tried to explain that I was not laughing at Richard but that I was laughing with and and I like to think that she was just being polite... Richard would like to just not think about it at all and block the whole sentence out of his memory but he can't... he will make sacrifices and remember it but just for the line that came seconds after it...

"They're lovely and little.... Mummy's are much longer!"

LONGER?!?!?! wtf?!?!?!

I seem to be some long-titted shoplifter to them now rather than the loving, nurturing Mother they used to gaze lovingly at... little sods.

On a lighter note I got them all back with a game of "What's your middle name?" - I love to confuse them.

Angelina thinks her middle name is Ballerina, Heather's is feather and Jake... well he handed it to me on a plate.

Jake has 2 middle names, his full name is Jake Lee (yes, my husband named him after an Ozzy Osbourne guitarist so sue me...) Denning (which is a family name) Savage. He always forgets Denning, its not used at all and was purely added to continue it and to make a Grandad happy so it's not surprising he forgets it.

Anyway, he knows there is another name and was trying to think of it he smiled and said

"I know!!!" so we sat patiently and he said...

"Jake Lee Butt-munch Savage!!!" and folded his arms with a big grin!!!!

Oh God bless you sweet boy... I must have called you buttmunch too often...LOL

I'm not correcting him though.... nooooooooooooooooo way....

shoplift books from town do I??? hmmm?? Jake Lee Buttmunch Savage?? Lets see how you like that....